Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Guess the real headline

One of the following three headlines is a real one from CNN and AP. Can you spot it?

  • Nigerian hacker threatens to spill Trump secrets, demands payoff
  • Russian model in Thai jail says she’ll spill secrets on Trump if released
  • Former Soviet agent retired in France says he wants payment for archived dirt on Trump from 1980s

CNN broke the story. Here is the AP version. I’m not telling you which one of the above is real, but you can hover over the link and figure it out.

Based on this descent into the bottom of the barrel of tabloid trash, here are some headlines I expect from CNN in the coming weeks:

  • 3 foot tall “Bat Girl” spills details on affair with Trump
  • Barbra Streisand claims Trump is reptilian alien with human skin
  • No records of Donald Trump before UFO crash in Roswell
  • Trump planning secret biological warfare project to wipe out leftists
  • White House haunted; ghost of JFK tells Trump to resign
  • Bigfoot witnessed Trump affair with Stormy Daniels
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Master troll strikes again

Trump just announced his 2020 re-election bid.

This does two things. First, it causes all the right heads to explode. Second, it provides a diversion from the media’s monomania over Parkland.

Related, this week The New Republic published an article entitled How Trump Wins Reelection. I found the subtitle highly amusing:

Last year, it seemed certain that he would be a one-term president—if he even lasted that long. But he has a plausible path to victory in 2020.

Certain? One would think that, having had their asses handed to them on election night 2016, the leftist punditry class would have been a wee bit more cautious with their political prognostications in 2017.

But, as I’ve long said, that would have made it much harder for them to sleep at night. They hate Trump, but even more, they hate what he represents: an existential threat to their cozy political class dominance of government, media, education, and entertainment. 

 

Some have finally stopped drugging themselves with CNN long enough to realize that Trump is growing stronger by the month. But they’re still missing something key: we’re in a new era.

If you read articles such as the one from TNR, they are saturated with analysis based in the pre-Trump era. They don’t realize that we’re in a new world.

I don’t think it’s impossible for Democrats to win in 2018 or 2020, but I do think it’s impossible with their old formulas and their geriatric leadership. The old punditry pseudo-sports commentary about “ground games” and such was never as insightful as those overpaid babblers thought, but 2016 showed that it was total nonsense. Not that this should have been a surprise, based on research. Key quote:

We show that candidates’ share of the vote is not affected by campaign spending.

Our intuition that carpet bombing the airwaves with obnoxious ads had little or no effect on the vote was correct. It’s possible for particular races that campaign spending and get-out-the-vote efforts can have some effect at the margin. But I think 2016 proved that the traditional analysis from bloviating heads is useless.

Remember that when the cascade of articles comes out this summer about a Blue Wave. Remember it when we start seeing increasingly desperate Trump bashing starting about late 2019. Nobody really knows what will happen, but the predictions most likely to be wrong are from these pretentious windbags.

 

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My list of phrases that identify the speaker as an idiot (volume 1)

Hey, this is Billy, not Mike. Naturally, I’m honored that Mike gave me posting privileges here. I have some in-depth things I’ve been working on that will show up here at some point.

For the nonce, I have a few shorter posts. This one should help set the stage, letting those who don’t know me get a feel for my worldview.

It’s my list of words and phrases that will immediately cause me to think someone is a complete idiot if they use them unironically. It’s incomplete, of course; modern political life furnishes practically an infinite number of such phrases. But this will do as volume 1:

  • “That’s cultural appropriation.”
  • cis-anything that isn’t related to chemistry (update: or astronomy)
  • anybody being “woke”
  • “I’m/he’s/she’s transitioning.”
  • “Blacks can’t be racist.”
  • “Banning guns is the solution to problem X.”
  • “Well, Rachel Maddow said…”
  • “Well, Whoopi Goldberg said…”
  • “Well, George Clooney said…”
  • “Well, Joy Behar said…”
  • “Well, Nancy Pelosi said…” (double idiot points)
  • “Well, the Southern Poverty Law Center said…” (double idiot points)

[must stop here for this subtype – a complete list of this type of idiot marker would require hundreds of entries]

  • “Of course it’s true, I read it in the New York Times.”
  • “Of course it’s true, I saw it on CNN.” (triple idiot points)
  • “We should just switch completely to wind and solar, but the big oil companies won’t let us.”
  • “My senator is a dedicated public servant.”
  • “…the patriarchy…”
  • “My teenager is gender fluid.”
  • “My teenager is transgender and starting to take hormones.”
  • “We’re not assigning a gender to our baby. We will wait until it chooses its own gender.” (triple idiot points)
  • “Gender is a social construct.” (double idiot points)
  • “The gender binary has no biological basis.”
  • “I’m feeding my cat a vegan diet.” (triple idiot points)
  • “Vaccines cause autism.”
  • “I support Bernie Sanders because socialism works and capitalism is a failure.” (Bonus idiot points for someone typing this on a device that could only be produced by capitalism)
  • “I think Oprah would make a good president.”
  • “I think Michelle Obama would make a good president.” (quadruple idiot points)
  • “Black Lives Matter. No, you can’t say All Lives Matter. That’s racist.”
  • “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.”
  • “Americans are undertaxed.”
  • “I insist you use my preferred pronoun, which is ze/zir/hir/wtf.”
  • “He/she/it/ze/zir has the right not to be offended.”
  • “I feel threatened by those words, and I need a safe space.”
  • “Speakers are responsible for the violence they cause when they offend others and cause riots.”
  • “Islam is a religion of peace.”
  • “Hillary is the most qualified person ever to run for president.”
  • “Trump is a fascist.”
  • “Trump is a clown.”
  • “Trump colluded with Russians to throw the election.”

(The next three are idiot markers from the period of 2015-2016)

  • “Trump is running as a stunt.”
  • “Trump has no chance to win the nomination.”
  • “Trump will get crushed by Hillary.”

 

  • “We should have a conversation about that on Twitter.” (double idiot points)
  • “This is my emotional support animal.” (Take care – some cynics game the system to keep their pets with them, and are not properly considered idiots. They are actually assholes.)
  • “Toxic masculinity”
  • “I’m triggered by that.”
  • anything being described as a microaggression

It’s a depressing part of our political scene that everything on this list is said by people who think they are smart and informed. It’s also a testament to just how far the left has wandered into delusional territory. This list spans a wide, wide variety of subjects, and the left is simply batshit insane about every one of them.

I learned at least twenty years ago that there’s no point in arguing with such people, so I don’t. Their worldview is warped into delusion by the post-modern philosophy that has become their substitute religion. (That’s a subject for a future post.)

You can list your own idiot markers in the comments, of course.

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"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

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