Jeff suggests that the upcoming phonus-balonus bin Laden tape might contain an important lesson for us all:

Miraculously, early video captures from the tape suggest that Bin Laden appears to be growing younger. Which, I hate to say, suggests that his God is a lot more powerful than one who occasionally makes an appearance in a tortilla or in the bark of a tree, or who sends one of his lackeys to speak cryptically with a couple-three peasant girls at Fatima.

Allah be praised.

Indeed. I know I’m feeling old and tired enough these days to at least consider, uhh, submission, shall we say. And in an update, he also mentions:

42% of Democrats polled believe the new bin Laden tape will feature Ron Silver in a robe and theatrical beard extensions — and that anything that blows up from here on out is proof positive that Bushco is invested in keeping the phony War on Terror alive, even if it means planning stealth demolitions, or dragging Karl Rove out of retirement so that he can don his ninja gear, head to the East Village, and detonate a radiological weapon himself.

Ron Silver I dunno about. But given that Osama remains deader than the ever-contemptible Chuck Schumer’s integrity, Ron Jeremy wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

Update! The Blotter’s “intelligence sources” say it’s for real and it’s new, and Allahpundit would seem to agree. I gotta say I remain skeptical, although I must admit that if this is for real, his efforts to aid his Nutroots allies in prodding the Dems along in their rush to roll over and surrender ought to be fun to play with in the days ahead:

“People of America: the world is following your news in regards to your invasion of Iraq, for people have recently come to know that, after several years of tragedies of this war, the vast majority of you want it stopped. Thus, you elected the Democratic Party for this purpose, but the Democrats haven’t made a move worth mentioning. On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war there.”

According to the transcript, bin Laden says there are two ways to end the war:

“The first is from our side, and it is to continue to escalate the killing and fighting against you.”

The second is to do away with the American democratic system of government. “It has now become clear to you and the entire world the impotence of the democratic system and how it plays with the interests of the peoples and their blood by sacrificing soldiers and populations to achieve the interests of the major corporations.”

Seems a clear enough ultimatum to me, whether it’s really Osama or some stand-in offering it up yet again. And we all know the meat of it is going to go right over an awful lot of pointy heads. Note, too, how he’s trotting out every Lefty hobby-horse imaginable, up to and including global warming and the Kyoto accord; it’s obvious he knows where his help comes from at this point. You Leftwits can get pissed off and scream at me for pointing that out if you like, but hey, I ain’t the one that made common cause with the son of a bitch just to massage my irrational hatred of the Bushpublicans.

Updated update! ConYank plays a round of Name That Goon. And you’re absolutely right, Bob: it’s a shame. A damned shame, and a national disgrace.

Update to the updated update! And of course, none of this scattershot musing should be interpreted as reflecting in any way on the aforementioned state of Chuckie Schumer’s integrity, which remains as dead as Julius Caesar.