Link mini-dump, and an assignment
I haven’t had time to post my thoughts on the immigration POS yet, regrettably. Fortunately, Frum did it for me. And this is another most excellent post on the whole sordid mess. If it wasn’t for Fred, I’d say screw the damned Repubs anyway; by now, they’re just the flipside of a wholly worthless coin, and I’ve never been happier to be able to say I’m not one, or more embarrassed for my friends who are still clinging to the stinking carcass of the putrescent pachyderm. Reader Matt has this to say, on a not-entirely unrelated matter:
In your post (this one – ed) you wrote:
“Blue language not only permitted, not only encouraged, but absolutely required. In fact, if I see anybody cutting the miserable worms any slack at all, I’ll ban him or her quicker’n Randy ever dreamed.”
Come on, Mike, we can’t all be as good at profanity as we’d like to be.
Perhaps those not being sufficiently blue could be graded on a scale of baby blue (not nearly insulting enough) to navy blue (swearing like a sailor so to speak). You could even give suggestions, i.e. ‘try using that as an adjective’ or ‘perhaps adding a direction would help’. A good tutorial would make a fine beginning as well.
I thought that was a great idea, and might make a fun weekend’s project for you folks, assuming you’re not all going to be lying on a beach far from any blogs or computers (caveat: I’ll most likely be doing something of the sort myself, at least for the latter part of the holiday weekend). So here t’is, folks: your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to bang out provisions for a cussing tutorial, and we all know there ain’t no better place in the blogosphere to initiate such a worthy project than this here hogwallow. I’ll let Matt’s follow-up e-mail get the ball rolling for ya’s:
- When it comes to the F-bomb you’ll never go wrong studying the work of the Master: Bruce Willis in Die Hard.
- I am a huge fan of linguistic infixation (i.e. abso-’f'ing-lutely).
- The obscenity of the speech should always match the obscenity of the situation — which is why the sky is the limit for this amnesty bill and those defending it.
Amen to that. Now have at it, kids, and do me proud!
Update! This, from überarrogant dipshit and Homeland “Security” head Michael Chertoff, ought to be enough to get you started:
I understand that some people think it’s (the immigration POS – ed) not tough enough. Maybe they want people thrown in jail for 10 years or they want people executed.
No, you flaming jerk, we want the borders secured, and the laws against illegal entry and residence enforced. Y’know, like so many of you so mendaciously promised to do when you took your oath of office.
Screw every last one of these regal RINO assjacks, and their Democrap partners in crime. Put sand in the Vaseline before you do. Myself, I’m going riding.
- Entries
Remember, with politicians (and the left) you are dealing with children, some of them intelligent children, with all of the narcissism that involves in being an indulged child. To wit: who did you fear more when you were a child; the guy who blew up al the time and spit out a string of profanity, or the guy who remained quiet and rarely used them?
Me? I feared the cold ones, those who would rarely drop profanity or lose control of their tempers. The flare-offs were entertaining, but the controlled ones were terrifying. I knew that when they finally had it and lost restraint all Hades would break loose - and the Four Horseman would just be in front of pack trying to get clear.
Again, just a stylistic preference; the controlled ones usually meant it.
N.B.: My dad taught me that, and how to use it to good effect; my nephews and neice do not cross Uncle Mike too much. Rather unhealthy. The best I've heard is here, (look under Practice Pointers: Don't Insult the Judge In Open Court) where a Federal Bankruptcy Judge used the cold style on an attorney that insulted her on the record. The show-cause hearing is coming up and I would dearly love to be in the courtroom that day to see how hard a senior partner can grovel. "Jump through the hoops, lawyer-boy! Jump!"
Not me. I'm all about the dark side, baby.
The current immigration legislation is a dog's breakfast; something needs to be done, but this 'something' will only cause a gag reflex. Those who support this with its 'triggers' are delusional fools, trying to ride the wave of popularity this will grab them in this community, trying to garner the fawning socialists of the MSM to support them.
The fools.
Those that this bill will legalize will not vote for them - if they vote at all - community responsibility is necessary for voting and those who would fall under this bill are not attached to the community enough to vote. Oh, they'll agitate in the streets for benefits to be given, but they won't vote in any appreciable percentages. And they won't vote for a 'me-tooer' when they can get the real thing. So worrying about voting trends ten-twenty years from now should be sufficient cause for instituting civil commitment proceedings - if the US Congress was not already the world's most expensive asylum. A re-election to that place ought to put that person on a watch list and two or three elections should be grounds for automatic incarceration. Of course, they have out-lawed any profiling; probably out of self-interest.
The MSM will not give anyone with an 'R' next to his or her name the time of day, unless they become a 'maverick'. And if you are going to be a party-maverick you might as well take it all the way and just switch parties. I know, expecting that level of honesty out of the major parties is a pipe-dream from some late nineteenth century opium den in Limehouse, but if you are going to be a congenital liar - I mean - politician you might as well save what few neuropathways you still possess and let everyone know what you are so you can continue to prevaricate on topics that are of immediate use - like an excuse for the drunk driving, the crash, the naked girl in the backseat, and the fact that you left your clothes somewhere you can't quite recall. (Just make sure that you have created the family photo-op beforehand where you sorrowfully admit you 'made mistakes', but with the support of your loved ones, you are prepared to move beyond it all - have to be ready for the news-cycle, you know.)
Anyhow, the current parties are less than worthless, but they are all we now have (God help us all). The Greens? The Libertarians? The Greens want to go back to scratching in the mud alongside Grog; the Libertarians aren't a party but a dorm-room bull session where they would solve all the problems of the world but they can't agree on pizza toppings long enough to have Dominos deliver some relief for their munchies.
Eh, I've been rambling long enough and my complaining won't amount to a tinker's dam either. One can only hope to have the one or two who still haven't been possessed by the Beltway Miasma can keep this thing from hitting a full vote before the members get back to their districts. And if you see one; preening his way down a parade for better men (heck - better K-9s) than any Member of Congress could ever aspire to if they returned to the womb and started over - please be polite, don't startle them. Just let them know what you think and why. And let them know you're being gentle becuse it is very rude to be violent to the addled - unless the situation calls for it.
MikeyNTH out.