Yale Nail Mail

March 8th, 2006

President Richard C. Levin
Woodbridge Hall
Yale University
New Haven Connecticut 06520

Dear Mr. Levin,

Yesterday my daughter informed me she was considering matriculation at Yale this fall. Knowing Yale’s deep commitment to principle, and seeing that she had painted her fingernails, I immediately pulled them all out, and have enclosed them along with this letter, to prove her sincerity and willingness to subject herself to your University’s sharia code.

Which is really just our small way of congratulating you on the admission of former Taliban official Sayed Rahmatullah Hashemi – who we understand has at least 4 years of formal edumacation under his belt - what a coup for Yale! It would have been a shame to lose yet another student of his caliber to Harvard, and miss such a tremendous opportunity to display the wonderful diversity and tolerance that is Yale’s trademark.

Of course, my daughter is aware of Yale’s penchant for retrograde, misogynist, terrorist-abetting, drug-running, Buddha-blasting, gay-murdering, freedom-hating tyrants; she would completely understand if all available slots for the freshman class had been filled by such worthy scholars. She knows how important real tolerance is – not just the phony kind that, say, might allow US military recruiters on campus. Even though the Supreme Court’s unanimous decision went against you on that one, we hope you plan to continue the fight to keep America’s military out of her universities! We know your principled stand on this issue means that you’ll be refusing any further federal aid, and we support you in sending the message that Yale will not prostitute her principles for federal dollars! Hopefully the increased giving that Mr. Hashemi’s enrollment is sure to spark will make up the difference.

In closing, please rest assured that unlike our fellow citizens, we don’t see Yale as an insulated, out-of-touch bastion of eastern liberalism unable to make even basic moral distinctions; rather, we feel the quality of a Yale diploma has never been less in doubt. Just one small complaint: could you have your diploma mill use a softer paper? The parchment really chafes my ass when I wipe. Thanks so much!

Regards,

An Average American

 

Update!  FAIR gets FARKED - see comment at 11:55:50 by Sam_Walton   (h/t Ace)

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Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site, and may be deleted, edited, ridiculed, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. Thank you.
  1. wickedpinto
    March 8th, 2006 at 14:18 | #1
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    I love the closing. Thats classic.
  2. icepick
    March 10th, 2006 at 20:37 | #2
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    just imagine what Rahmatoooooolaaah would'a done if when Yale's "feminist" group decide to host "The Vagina Monologue". Just think, dudes, he is, after all, the right "tool" for the job. Let's see if we can get "The Lion of Panjir(sp?)" Ahmed Shah Masood's son to go to Yale, the mixer would be something I'd pay to watch.

    'Pick

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