Bush Approval Rating Minus 27.4
Also via Bill (whose perfect post title I unashamedly swiped), here’s how it’s done — no, really:
Which of the following best describes you?
a) *Republican.
b) Democrat.
c) Independent.
d) Other.
e) Uninterested in politics.*NOTE: If respondent answers “Republican,” call them rude names and hang up immediately. Record their information so that the proper authorities may deal with them when the correct order of things is restored and so that they are never again surveyed by us.
In the 2004 Presidential Election, you…
a) Voted for John Kerry.
b) **Voted for George W. Bush.
c) Voted for Ralph Nader.
d) Voted for someone else.
e) Did not vote.
f) What? There was an election last year?**NOTE: If respondent answers “Voted for George W. Bush,” blow a high pitched whistle in their ear and hang up immediately. Record their information so that they can be exterminated when the correct order of things is restored and so that they are never again surveyed by us. You may have a few moments to cry and then compose yourself before making another call.
How would you characterize the ridiculously awful job being done by this incompetent boob we laughingly call our President, George W. Bush?
a) Poor.
b) Very poor.
c) Horrible.
d) Beyond horrible.
e) It’s the end of all civilization!!!
f) I’m too stupid to know what a boob he really is.
g) What was the question again? I don’t know how to answer a simple poll.What one issue facing our country today is most important to you?
a) Bush must resign!
b) Cheney must resign!
c) Karl Rove must resign!
d) Tom DeLay must rot in jail forever!
e) Death to Scooter Libby!
f) U.S. out of Iraq now!
g) Protect legalized abortion at all costs!!!
h) Global warming – it’s killing us all!
i) The rich don’t pay enough taxes!
j) All of the above (of course)!
k) You really don’t care about anything, do you?
I’d be willing to bet that most people (outside of a university-level statistics course, that is — and yes, I’ve had ‘em myself) have no idea how slight the exaggeration of actual polling reality here is.
- Entries
Make that a dull, cheap, Chinese copy of a Swiss Army Knife. Even better would be a rusty tin can lid. A dirty one.
I was thinking about having a post on top just for folks to throw their gripes.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that post would become my whole blog.
Clove cigarettes? "Self-actualized"? (I know a human who speaks thus)
Naw ... yer shootin' sharks with a BB gun.
IRREGARDLESS. Now THERE'S something to bite into. I mean WTF does that word MEAN? The longer you look at it and the more you mouth it to yourself, the more meaningless it becomes.
Any human being who uses that word should be taken out behind your neighbor's house and hacked to death with &^%$#@# chainsaw. At full throttle.
Any human being who uses that word in a broadcast meant for public consumption should get hit by a train first.