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The real lowdown

October 21st, 2005

Glenn’s half right, that Texas BBQ dog won’t hunt. But…tomato-based sauce? What in the hell’s he talkin’ about? Shoot, why not just slather chopped pig’s butt in weasel piss and call that a meal? Sorry, Prof, but you can save the ketchup for the fries; I know what properly goes on barbecue, thanks, and where to get it — and where not to, too.

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  1. Zorro
    October 21st, 2005 at 16:05 | #1
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    but for the RealDeal...you gotta go north:

    http://www.ribfestchicago.com/

  2. Joe
    October 21st, 2005 at 16:53 | #2
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    Didn't we have this discussion once before, Mike? I lay awake most nights, crying bitter tears of sorrow over the loss of 100+ comments (mostly by ignorant fools) wherein I rectified this most grevious misunderstanding, and even took the mighty Lileks down a peg or two.

    So listen up, you "BBQ" illiterates like Zorro, and all you other sad, sad, "BBQ" imposters: real barbecue is only available in North Carolina, and the only genuine debate is Eastern vs. Western style. This here's real barbecue, and all others are but a pale imitation of it's divine and flavorful goodness. Although, in an emergency, Hannah's is acceptable.

    I will brook no dissent on this, none at all, on pain of severe tongue-lashing and brutal sarcasm. You've been warned, bitches.

  3. Mike
    October 21st, 2005 at 19:08 | #3
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    What Joe said.
  4. Glenmore
    October 21st, 2005 at 19:18 | #4
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    If you happen to be in the Katrina'd area of southeast Louisiana I can recommend a little place named Hillbilly BBQ, tucked behind Triangle West Bar on Jefferson Highway in River Ridge. Proprietor came down from Kentucky a couple of years ago and uses the excuse of needing to pick up a load of hickory to get back there from time to time. Offers slow smoked 'BBQ' of various meats - pork picnic, chicken, ribs, and Texas beef brisket, and a sweet or tart sauce. Both pork and beef are as good or better than I have had anywhere, and both sauces are good (though you don't need either one).
  5. Bill
    October 21st, 2005 at 19:31 | #5
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    As a New Yorker who has spent some time in the South, all I can say is "Damn You....Damn you all...."

    /shaking fist and wondering about long-distance delivery.

  6. MESQUITE!
    October 21st, 2005 at 19:37 | #6
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    Hickory? HICKORY!? Hickory is for metrosexual eyebrow-waxing wusses!

    REAL barbeque is smoked with MESQUITE!

  7. Mr. Bowen
    October 21st, 2005 at 22:04 | #7
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    And Georgia BBQ is smoked over white oak. I've found the best results are properly cured cherry wood, myself. Mesquite is ass, and hickory is passable, but barely. Make friends with your local orchard owner, you'll thank me for it.
  8. Brian Sassaman
    October 21st, 2005 at 22:48 | #8
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    And no self respecting BBQ restaurant has a web site or is open on Sunday.

    That's the truth, Ruth!

    Smokey Pig in Columbus GA is where it's at!!!

  9. Charlie
    October 21st, 2005 at 22:51 | #9
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    Mesquite????!!!!

    Mesquite is fabulous for grilling but not for smoking--too many volatile terpenes and stuff. I guess you proved you ain't no metrosexual if you like an aftertaste of turpentine (or the tar scrapings off the heels of North Carolinians).

    Hickory (walnut, pecan and hickory) is fine for smoking. Best all around is oak, especially post oak. But every now and then, you gotta go with fruit wood (peach, pear, apple, cherry).

    Flower Mound, TX

  10. Mike
    October 21st, 2005 at 22:55 | #10
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    Know what I just love? The fact that nothing, nothing in this world gets people talking like BBQ does. ;)
  11. Rachel
    October 21st, 2005 at 23:22 | #11
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    I like Famous Dave's. Are there better ones out there?
  12. Mr. Bowen
    October 22nd, 2005 at 22:41 | #12
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    Yeah, though not as a national chain. Big Art's here in Cincinnati is pretty damn good, although they do tend to put the final sauce on a bit early. Gets burnt, sometime.
  13. icepick
    October 23rd, 2005 at 02:35 | #13
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    Law profs shouldn't talk barbecue, stuff like this can get out of hand. Next thing you know there might be the War of the BBQ's (WWIII). I'm gonna go with the Lone Star boys, the Vols just ain't gonna make it.
  14. Patrick Carroll
    October 24th, 2005 at 21:29 | #14
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    I recommend Fat Matts in Atlanta. BBQ and Blues and Beer. Sorry, but it doesn't get any better.

    Well, maybe a little better: http://www.daddydz.com/pages/549873/index.htm

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