THERE’S NO KIDDING AROUND IT

“I’m even beginning to think that yelling at Obama for failing to protect America is like yelling at a six-year old for failing to make a dentist appointment, open a 401k and install vinyl siding on the house.”–Me, as I have consistently said.

Noted child psychologist Dr. Mark Spock-Steyn:

My radio pal Hugh Hewitt said to me on the air the other day that Barack Obama “doesn’t know how to be president.“

You know who that helps? Mitt Romney. heh.

Actually, for once, it really does help Mitt Romney, come to think of it.

It was a low but effective crack, and I didn’t pay it much heed. But, after musing on it over the past week or so, it seems to me frighteningly literally true.

To me, too.

Let’s just face it; we elected a little kid to be Leader of the Free World.

He’s such a kid that he doesn’t even believe there is such a thing as a “Free World”–only a giant world birthday present wrapped up in a bow and given to him, in honor of him, to open on this, his special, special day.

When he spends trillions of dollars we don’t have, that’s just a version of eating ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He thinks that no one else in history ever thought of the idea–”Hey–I know; we’ll just spend money! And spend and spend and spend! How can we be broke? We’ve still got printing presses!”

If you disagree, you’re just a big mean person who won’t let me get a puppy. And a pony. And an elephant–I’ve always wanted an elephant. Can I? Can I? CanICanICanICanICanICanICanICanI???

It was by playing Milton Bradley’s “Operation!” that he first learned that greedy doctors are stealing children’s tonsils for money. He passes legislation by keeping the other kids up all night and bribing them with cookies. His approach to statecraft is like a four-year game of RISK played with the Kids Your Parents Warned You About.

Fred Barnes:

Has a president ever been less successful on a trip overseas than President Obama has on his eight-day excursion to Asia? I’ve been covering presidents since Gerald Ford and I can’t think of one.

Obama struck out on his entire agenda in China and he acquiesced as the Chinese subjected him to the humiliation of a choreographed town hall meeting with student members of the Young Communist League. And he suffered through a 30-minute news conference with Chinese President Hu Jintao in which no questions from the media were allowed. Presidents normally come away on visits to foreign countries with “deliverables”–that is, tangible signs of progress like a treaty signing. All Obama got was a list of things the United States and China would do in the future.

But, hey, he also got this:

And out of the Seoul sky, President Lee Myung-bak hands over to the American leader a tae kwon do outfit. And then Lee, who practices tae kwon do himself, presents Obama with a coveted black belt.

After zero long years of study.

Cooooool!

When I was a kid(tm), one popular theme of the Youth Revolution was what it would be like if kids took over the world. Now we know.

“I’m the First Pacific president!” We elected the Fifth Beach Boy, and now We’re Sittin’ On Top of the World.

What can we do for our troubled adolescent, Dr. Spock-Steyn?

Not being George W. Bush may be enough to impress the 2009 Nobush Peace Prize committee in Oslo, but it’s old news everywhere else. America’s enemies have figured out that the Superbower is their best opportunity since their Seventies, and for America’s friends the short version of the hopeychangey era to date is last week’s cover story at the London Spectator showing an empty suit in the Oval Office over the headline “The Worst Kind Of Ally.”

Hang on, wasn’t that title retired with Bush? Well, no. Apparently, he routinely called up prime ministers hither and yon and kept them in the picture and up to speed. Obama doesn’t have time for any of that: When he stiffed Poland on missile defense, he got Hillary to phone it in. The Poles, bless ‘em, declined to take her call. In Delhi, meanwhile, they’re horrified by Obama’s performance in China. America’s enemies smell weakness, and our allies feel only the vacuum of U.S. leadership. About himself, the president speaks loudly. For America, he carries a small twig.

Our Lord of the Fly-Swatter.

I’ve left the real humor and heartbreak there, so read it all. Don’t make me stop this car.