Q: When is a bench not a bench?
I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE NO QUIZ
A: When the bench is a deck chair on Rock Star Lines’ HMS Titanic Moral Vanity.
Mike has the whole sorry story on the castaway’s ill-fated Three Hour Grandstanding for Gaia-Tour here. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the minnow-sized moral moment would be lost.
Clearly, we’re in the wrong business, Mike. This Expedition About Nothing cost the British taxpayers £150,000, about a quarter-million US. You could dry clean the burkas of a London imam’s 5 welfare wives for a year with that kind of money.
Alert the orphans, Tiny Tim–all their problems are solved! Surely a country rich enough to indulge artistes building a bus-bench on an iceberg has solved all its real problems. And the fuel oil used to haul them there was no doubt made from carbon-capturing Unicorn waste!
I wouldn’t really care–but our own NEA looks to their European betters for guidance in how to extract pelf from the peons and waste it on ugly art and preening poseurs. Chesterton:
“Savages and modern artists are alike strangely driven to create something uglier than themselves. But the artists find it harder.”
How ’bout a federally-funded Bass-Fishing Tour instead?
Nah–they’d just end up taxing our singing bass’s off.
And we’d end up on a park bench on some iceberg somewhere.




