DID I SAY “WAR”?
Sorry; I meant “overseas contingency operation”.
I must have been thinking of the immortal words of Sen. John Oprah Chopra “Butch” Kerry, who famously said
“I believe I can fight a more effective, more thoughtful, more strategic, more proactive, more sensitive War on Terror that reaches out…”
Ah–the old “sensitive” war. In other words, “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ah…hey, watch out for those baby ducks!” It brings to mind this quote by Robert E. Lee:
“It is well that war is so effective, thoughtful, strategic, proactive, sensitive & inclusive, else we should grow too fond of it.”
You almost couldn’t tell if Kerry was talking about war or a new federal tattoo-removal outreach program. Sorry, Mike.
Now the Linguist-in-Chief Obama has joined Sen. Kerry in this war of words, or rather, the War on the Word “War”. Wow–layers!
This puts Obama and Kerry firmly in the ranks of some of history’s greatest tacticians, leaders, thinkers, generals and talk-show hosts:
“In overseas contingency operation, there is no substitute for victory.” –General Douglas MacArthur
“O overseas contingency, thou son of Hell!”–Shakespeare
“Contingency Operation is the continuation of politics by other means.”–Karl von Clausewitz
“We have met the enemy and, boy, are they ever contingent!”–Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry
Herbert Hoover: “Older men declare war. But it’s the youth who must endure rock stars and Democrats posturing about it.”
Remember this Patton quote?
“No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his.” — George S. Patton
Just to further clarify things, the administration has helpfully released its own version of Patton’s maxim:
No at-risk male offspring of a single female-headed household ever won an overseas contingency operation by expiring for his outdated nation-state structure. He ended it and achieved an exit strategy by making the “Other” economically-distressed educationally-underserved individual currently engaged in anti-Islamic activity expire for his.
It just doesn’t get any clearer than that.
UPDATE: We repealed the charitable quote deduction to bring you these bonus war quotations:
“You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.”–Jeannette Rankin, First Woman in Congress, a Republican, naturally.
Perhaps–but an earthquake never built gas chambers or tried to change the languge of your children.
And speaking of clarity, Chesterton:
“I cannot see how we can literally end War unless we can end Will. I cannot think that war will ever be utterly impossible; and I say so not because I am what these people call a militarist, but rather because I am a revolutionist. Absolutely to forbid fighting is to forbid what our fathers called ‘the sacred right of insurrection’. Against some decisions no self-respecting men can be prevented from appealing to fortune and to death.”