Kruiser hilariously takes the piss out of a hot mess.
Well, the 2020 Democratic National Convention (DNC) kinda/sorta got underway on Monday night and we’re still waiting to hear from the twelve people who aren’t in political media who watched it.
Those who did were in for a real treat if they’ve never had a concussion or done hallucinogenic drugs before and wondered what either is like without having to actually experience them.
A series of individually recorded remote speeches gave it a “Gee, we’re sorry we can’t be there for your 90th birthday, Uncle Joe” vibe. That’s perfectly fine when it’s Uncle Joe’s 90th birthday but it’s not as fun if it’s Uncle Joe’s 90th attempt at becoming president of the United States. And Uncle Joe isn’t even at his own party to watch because he’s in the basement.
One of the more perplexing things was the DNC giving a speaking slot to former Ohio governor and noted mailman’s son John Kasich. Kasich brings slightly less excitement than dryer lint to any gathering he graces but what was most amusing was that during the somnambulant lead-up to the DNC, the Democrats were acting like Kasich was a real big get for them.
The DNC had a few other faux Republicans speaking on Monday. The only thing they had in common is that no Republican under 50 remembers any of them and they’re trying to feel relevant by doing useful idiot turns for the Democrats. They will be winning no hearts, minds, or voters. Other than the “LOOK! Republicans badmouthing Trump!” narrative it’s difficult to figure out what the DNC’s calculus for trotting out these losers was.
The only big surprise is that mewling liberal turncoat Mittens Romneycare (D—Whicheverstatehecangetelectedin) didn’t show up to give a fellatory go-Joe speech too. Could be that’s coming later on in the week, maybe.
Interest-piqueing update! The Demonrat convention is pure shitshow, naturally, but it’s looking like the RNC one will be…interesting.
The St. Louis couple who wielded firearms while Black Lives Matter protesters gathered outside their mansion will make an appearance at the Republican National Convention next week, a report said Monday.
Personal injury attorneys Mark and Patricia McCloskey are expected to express their support for President Trump during the virtual weeklong event, party officials told the Washington Post.
And it gets even better yet.
Covington Catholic high school student Nick Sandmann, who was viciously smeared by the establishment media and has won settlements from the Washington Post and CNN, will speak at the Republican National Convention (RNC), Trump campaign and RNC officials confirmed to Breitbart News exclusively.
In addition to Sandmann, campaign and Convention officials confirmed to Breitbart News what the Washington Post reported previously, that the St. Louis couple Mark and Patricia McCloskey will speak at the RNC next week. In addition, Andrew Pollack—whose daughter Meadow was killed in the Parkland shooting at Stoneham Douglas High School in February 2018—will speak at the Convention, a Trump campaign official confirmed to Breitbart News. Abby Johnson, a former clinic director at Planned Parenthood who is now a leading pro-life activist, will also speak at the Convention, as will South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem and GOP candidate for U.S. House and veteran Sean Parnell.
Sources familiar with the plans told Breitbart News that each of these cases—in particular, those of Sandmann, the McCloskeys, Pollack, and Johnson—illustrate the potentially disastrous consequences of Democrat governance.
As if getting to enjoy Trump slow-roasting Uncle Gropey over a roaring rhetorical fire wasn’t going to be entertaining enough.