Enemies, domestic

I like the cut of this guy’s jib.

A Republican lawmaker in Montana claimed Saturday that the Constitution allows for the shooting or imprisonment of socialists.

State Rep. Rodney Garcia (R) first made the remark on Friday following a speech by former Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke, according to the Billings Gazette. Garcia told Zinke he is worried that socialists are “entering our government,” and suggested the Constitution permits jailing or shooting socialists.

ARE “entering our government”? Wrong tense and poor sentence construction there, buddy. Try “HAVE entered,” or perhaps “ARE IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF…” etc for better grammar and greater accuracy.

Zinke did not engage Garcia, the Gazette reported.

However, when Garcia was questioned about the comments on Saturday, he doubled down and called socialists “enemies of the free state” and said their ideology is “very dangerous.”

“So actually in the Constitution of the United States (if) they are found guilty of being a socialist member you either go to prison or are shot,” he said.

As I say, I have no real beef with it. But if we do start taking all that guff about the proper way to deal with enemies and traitors seriously again, who the hell’s gonna be left to run against Trump in 2020?

Hm. Just realized I have no real beef with that either, actually.

“They’re enemies of the free state,” Garcia added. “What do we do with our enemies in war? In Vietnam, (Afghanistan), all those. What did we do?”

Well, we 1) refused to define our objectives clearly; B) let ourselves get suckered into “limited engagements,” nation-building, and “hearts and minds” campaigns when we should have been stacking enemy corpses like cordwood; and iii) wound up declaring “victory” just before skedaddling in ignominious defeat, however we might have rationalized it at the time. So those might not be the absolute best examples of how to handle the problem, I’m thinking. Here’s an alternative approach:

PORTLAND, OR—The CDC has announced a full quarantine of Portland to prevent the spread of a dangerous virus known as communism.

While communism has been around for a while, experts believe the 2020-Antifa strain could develop into the worst communism pandemic in decades.

“We are enforcing a ban on all travel in and out of Portland until a cure is found,” said one CDC official. “We simply can’t risk deadly viruses like communism spreading out into the world. Millions will die.”

Don’t look now, but millions already have.

Although there is no known cure for communism, there are preventative measures that experts recommend, such as reading history books. Signs that someone you love may have communism already include wearing ski masks, sporting Che Guevara shirts, and not showering regularly.

“If you see something that indicates someone you know may be infected with communism, say something.”

In a shocking turn of events, all Democratic candidates were found to be carriers of the disease, though they assured everyone it was actually a democratic version of the virus.

Well, hey, that’s diff’runt then. Carry on.

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