Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

With apologies to Aesop

Schlichter lays out the recipe for victory.

The fact is that this is a GOP-leaning district that should go red in 2020. But why would the voters – as opposed to the ones who checked the box for the polyamorous pinko – support some soft Republican who will go to DC and do nothing? Why should they turn out on election day if they aren’t inspired? We Republicans have been burned again and again by GOP soy puppets who let overpaid campaign consultants who seem to know a lot about draining campaigns coffers but nothing about winning neuter them and turn them into human puffballs. Who needs a Jeb! clone who wants to “reach out” and “solve problems” and never, ever take a stand? This is kind of the butter-spined weakness that is supposed to appeal to the suburban wine mom set, but do women really want to support a sissy? Do the men of the district want to come out for a candidate who seems like he or she will break into tears if he or she ever found himself or herself microaggressed?

Conservatism, aggressively and unapologetically articulated, wins.

No, we are not raising your taxes to buy stuff for illegal aliens.

No, we are not making you ditch your Ford Explorer because a bunch of Bay Area weather cultists demand you sacrifice to Gaia.

No, we are not sending your kids to get killed in some border dispute between Whocaresistan and Bingobadoodle.

No, boys pretending to be girls are not going to take all the prizes in your girls’ sports leagues.

Yes, you are going to get to keep your health insurance and your doctor.

Yes, we are going to ensure your kids get taught to read instead of how to complain about their privilege.

Yes, we are going to stand up to China.

Yes, we are going to defend our border.

These are winning issues – you just need a GOP candidate who is woke and willing to take the heat for articulating them. Our candidate has to understand that, no matter what, the Democrats will call him/her a racist, sexist, transphobic, Islamophobic climate denier who supports hunting kids with AR-15s, and he/she has to not give a damn.

It would seem to be a good plan for out here in flyover country, sure. Hell, it’s pretty much the blueprint of the Trump Rebellion, and he won handily enough. I certainly don’t find anything to gripe about in the Schlichter Plan myself; in fact, if our candidates spelled things out as simply and forthrightly as Kurt does here—and stuck to it after they took office—they’d probably do a lot better almost everywhere. But in amateur MFF porn sensation Katie Hill’s district, in the land of fruits and nuts? Meh, I dunno.

My own Eeyoritude notwithstanding, Kurt retains optimism aplenty:

Fortunately, we have a Republican candidate in the 25th with a proven track record of being tough. He’s Mike Garcia, and he’s a Navy fighter pilot who smoked jihadi dirtbags while whatever candidate the Dems put forward was wandering around some college campus introducing his/her/xisself with his/her/xis pronouns.

Mike is the real deal, with a solid civilian career, a beautiful family, and no throuple weirdness.

Well, none AS FAR AS YOU KNOW RIGHT THIS MOMENT, anyway. As unlikely as it may be, that could change with a quickness. I mean, this is California we’re talking about here, man.

He embodies the normality and the kind of forthright conservatism the 25th needs. Check him out, and help him out if you are so inclined.

This is no time for shenanigans or vanity candidacies. This is the time to clear the field and rally around the guy who strapped himself to jet engines and took off to drop bombs on bad people over in the sandbox. We need a warrior. This fight will make all those other special election fights we’ve won lately look as peaceful and tranquil as one of Katie Hill’s naked hair brushing sessions. This is the decisive battle, right here, in the 25th. This is where we turn it around and counterattack to take back the House.

It would be nice to think so, sure; Kurt’s lips, God’s ears, all that, and I wish Garcia all the luck in the world in taking the seat. But, I mean…dude, it’s California. Schlichter included a donation link in his post which I didn’t transcribe in the above excerpt, should you be flush with both optimism and folding money.

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2 thoughts on “With apologies to Aesop

  1. Apologies to moi?
    Pourqoui?

    I wish him well, but this state is going to have to fail, crash, and burn, before we can do any good here.
    The only way to cure communism, just like everywhere else, is to starve and burn it out of people’s hearts.

    Gunfire isn’t a bad aperitif to hustle things along, and at the rate we’re going, it’s likely on the menu.

  2. Aw, just for banging on California as if there were no conservatives left there at all. Just tweaking ya a little there, buddy. 😀

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