Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Sting ’em, Bee

Shit’s starting to get real up in here.

Last month, the satire site The Babylon Bee lawyered up after liberal fact-checker Snopes tried to deplatform it by calling it “fake news” and suggesting the Babylon Bee did not rise to the level of satire. The Babylon Bee’s lawyer sent a demand letter, and Snopes altered the offending article. But last week, Snopes unloaded two more attacks on the Bee, and the Bee vowed to keep fighting back.

“Snopes is at it again. We had hoped that a demand letter from our attorneys would prompt changes. And it seemed to. Snopes did go back and edit their defamatory fact-check, revising some of the language that suggested we were deliberately misleading people. However, they’ve subsequently published a new rating for satire called ‘Labeled Satire,'” the Bee said in an email to subscribers.

“Their explanation of this rating says the label ‘satire’ is often misapplied to content that doesn’t really qualify as satire — and Snopes has made it clear that they feel our content falls into that category,” the Bee continued. “From their view, we’re just pretenders, using the label ‘satire’ to our advantage so we can hoodwink the masses. It’s really extraordinary, especially since they’ve acknowledged in private communication with us that there is a ‘clear distinction’ between our satire and intentionally misleading fake news. For some reason, they refuse to acknowledge the clear distinction in their published articles.”

That’s all due to a multiplicity of reasons: A) they’re dishonest, cowardly partisan hacks; B) you’re living inside their heads, rent-free; C) liberals such as those running Snopes, being juiceless killjoys, have NO sense of humor and thus are incapable of recognizing it; and D) you’re winning.

The Babylon Bee also pointed to a survey conducted by Ohio State University “that suggests satire is causing too much confusion, posing ‘a problem for democracy.'”

Oh for crying out loud. I suppose we know now what the libtards are going to be demanding the government step in to regulate and/or ban “for our own good” next, don’t we?

In the survey, Snopes analyzed the most popular satire articles from The Babylon Bee and The Onion, and asked a random sample of 800 Americans “if they believed claims based on those trending stories.”

The survey did not include any context about the speaker making the claims, so claims from the Bee such as “Ilhan Omar said that being Jewish is an inherently hostile act, especially among those living in Israel” and claims from The Onion such as “National Security Advisor John Bolton said that an attack on two Saudi Arabian oil tankers in the Gulf of Oman is ‘an attack on all Americans'” misled Republicans and Democrats, respectively.

But this does not prove that readers were swayed by satire from The Babylon Bee or The Onion. Those in the survey may have rated a statement “absolutely true” if it merely seemed plausible to them, and they likely would have rated the statement false had they known the source or the style of the original satire article.

Or those rating it “absolutely true” might have just been trying to be funny themselves. With truly dangerous, manipulative propaganda being injected into the American bloodstream each and every day—from newspapers to movies to Enemedia Fake News broadcasts to “The Most Busted Name In News” on every airport concourse—while being misrepresented as honest reportage, who the hell gives a damn, anyway?

Happily, the Bee being the Bee and all, this increasingly enstupidating brouhaha only inspired them to put the pedal to the metal:

U.S.—As Snopes turns up the heat on The Babylon Bee, its writers were finally forced to admit that they are not real journalists.

In a statement issued Monday, Babylon Bee’s editorial team confessed they have been making up their stories this entire time.

“The headlines, the copy, the quotes—they’re all fake,” said the site’s editor in chief, hanging his head in shame. “It started a few years ago. We made up a few stories about church culture, some about politics, some about everyday life, just for fun.” But the EIC said that things quickly got out of hand, as their completely made-up stories started going viral.

“It all happened so fast,” he said. “We just wanted to have a little fun and make some jokes, and I guess it got out of hand.”

Sources confirmed The Babylon Bee even hired a professional Photoshop guy full time to fabricate images of events that did not actually occur, such as Joe Biden getting hit with a blue shell, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez going on The Price is Right and guessing that everything is free, Ruth Bader Ginsburg coming back as a cyborg, and monkeys throwing poop at each other in the Senate’s chambers.”

The closing ‘graph is a real gem, so don’t miss it. And can it possibly be coinkydinkal that this repost from 2017 also turned up on the front page when I looked in?

U.S.—As part of a detailed review of prominent online news outlets, a large team of fact-checkers at unanimously voted The Babylon Bee as the world’s most accurate news source, Snopes editors revealed Friday.

After reviewing over 1,200 of the Bee’s articles, opinion pieces, and exclusive news stories published over the site’s eighteen months of existence, the Snopes team all agreed that the Bee was “far more accurate” than competing news sources.

“It’s not even close,” Snopes writer Kim LaCapria wrote as part of the announcement. “Whereas sites like CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC are constantly dropping the ball, The Babylon Bee has never gotten a single fact wrong.”

“They are the one true news source, the pinnacle of trustworthy journalism,” she added reverently.

“Their stories are just too good to be made-up. They’re excellent,” another Snopes writer said.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that several Bee writers had been shortlisted for a Pulitzer Prize.

Heh. No wonder the vinegary Church Ladies at Snopes hate ’em so much. Mockery and derision are to the Left as garlic and sunlight are to vampires, or so it would seem. And OHHH, how they just hate seeing anybody having fun…particularly when the merriment comes at their expense. So yeah, y’all take it to ’em, Bee-bugs; let a buzzing swarm of lawyers show those Snopes dopes they shoulda left this hive the hell alone. In the immortal words of fellow happy-warrior Andrew Breitbart, a man who also well understood the effectiveness of humor as a weapon against the Left: Fuck you, WAR!


2 thoughts on “Sting ’em, Bee

  1. The real joke is that if there weren’t so many ‘journalists’ who were completely bat shit crazy trying to convince us that boys and girls are the same, Epstien really did just randomly off himself, lying to us daily about an uncountable number of things, etc the Bee would have no sting. It only stings because in the crazy clown world of current ‘journalism’ the Bee is too close to reality.

    Plus, as you stated so well, progtardcommies have zero sense of humor and less than zero when they are the butt of the joke.

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