Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Making waves in Britain

Trump bitch-slaps Londonistan mayor Mohammad Abdullah al Farouq Shabeeb Hussein Saddiq bin Laden, among other deserving pustules, right between his beady little eyes.

President Trump on Tuesday, in a press conference with outgoing U.K. Prime Minister Theresa May, blasted his British left-wing critics as a “negative force” — and confirmed that he snubbed the leader of the opposition Labour Party when he sought a sit-down.

“I don’t know Jeremy Corbyn, never met him, never spoke to him — he wanted to meet today or tomorrow and I decided I would not do that,” Trump told reporters at the London press conference.

Trump also took another shot at longtime foe and London Mayor Sadiq Khan, who had also opposed Trump’s visit to Britain.

“I don’t think he should be criticizing a representative of the United States that can do so much good for the United Kingdom,” Trump said. “He’s a negative force, not a positive force.”

Of the mayor, Trump said: “He’s done a poor job, crime is up, a lot of problems.”

Ahh, but does it get even better? Hold onto your hats, boys and girls.


“Stone cold loser”? How could you NOT love the guy? But it gets better still, as the shitlibs at NPR hilariously jump in to “fact-check” Trump’s wicked jab regarding Mayor bin Laden’s height, then accuse him of “lying.”

No, seriously, gang. I really mean it. They did that. They really, really did.

Morning Edition host Rachel Martin cued up the lying accusation by highlighting Mayor Sadiq Khan’s dislike of Trump.

Martin then asked NPR London reporter Frank Langfitt what Trump was up to ahead of the trip.

“Well he fired off on Twitter criticism of Khan,” Langfitt said. “He said Khan had done a terrible job as mayor of London, called him a stone-cold loser, compared him to — in the opinion of the president — the very dumb and incompetent mayor of New York City, Bill de Blasio.”

“One difference, Trump said, between the two mayors, he said that Khan is only half the height of de Blasio,” Langfitt said. “That’s not true. Mayor Khan is 5 foot 6.”

NPR did the math and discovered that if the mayor were half the size of de Blasio’s 6 feet 5 inches, he would be just over 3 feet tall.

WELL, thank God those intrepid, dauntless NPR “journalists” got to the bottom of that one for us. What would we do without these heroes, eh? Loads more from Ace, including a report on the wanton murder of the Londonistan Left’s infamous Baby Trump blimp by an apparent Trump supporter. I dunno, call it a “post-birth abortion,” maybe.

Update! NPR is gonna want to fact-check this one too, I bet.

ENGLAND—England has reluctantly ceded control of their country over to Donald Trump after the visiting US president was given a sword by a strange woman lying in a pond.

Trump was walking by the lake, taking in the beautiful sights of the English countryside, when the woman emerged from the surface of the waters, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite. Trump began to bellow at her.

“Hey, very fine woman over there!” he shouted. “I very much appreciate English girls. Maybe the best girls in the world. Great teeth. How’d you like a tour of the White House sometime? You should see my office, it’s literally an oval.” Trump then attempted to wade out to her to continue their conversation, but the frightened lady of the lake tossed a sword in his direction to ward him off before disappearing.

“Have it your way!” he called out as he walked away, Excalibur in tow, his hosts in shock as they realized they now had to bend the knee to Donald Trump.

Political analysts attempted to point out that supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony, and that just because a watery tart throws a sword at you, that doesn’t mean that you’re a king. But Trump ordered them to be quiet.

It’s good to be King. Even if it’s only England.

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