Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Ixnay on the Okeway

A most welcome declaration.

Dunkin’ Brand – which owns both Dunkin’ Donuts and Baskin Robbins – has taken a stand against politicizing their businesses, according to remarks made by senior executives during a panel at the 2019 International Trademark Association (INTA) meeting in Boston.

Attendees took to Twitter to praise the company for their commitment to remain politically neutral – and for the shot they took at their competitor Starbucks.

One attendee tweeted a quote from the vice president of brand stewardship Drayton Martin wherein the Dunkin’ executive says “we are not Starbucks, we aren’t political.”

Martin further specified politically provocative designs on cups was something Dunkin’ would not partake in: “We don’t want to engage you in political conversation, we want to get you in and out of our store in a matter of seconds.”

Such a shame that a company announcing that it intends to stick to its knitting without piously lecturing its customers on matters unrelated to the business it’s in comes across as such a refreshing departure from the norm. I hope they make a mint because of it. Screw Starbucks anyhow; all PC preachiness aside, their burnt-beans hellbrew tastes revolting. I never have understood how they managed to do so well peddling that nasty parody of coffee they fob off on the more gullible among us, especially in an age when there are so many vastly superior choices available.

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8 thoughts on “Ixnay on the Okeway

  1. DD does have good coffee; I sometimes drink it at home. I also drink Community coffee, and when I want something stronger or need to strip some paint, I drink Seaport, a regional brand out of Beaumont, Texas.

  2. Starbucks’ “nasty parody of coffee” is for people with no taste buds and more money than brains.

  3. That is why Staryucks has all the flavors, spices, etc to add their coffee.. so you don’t actually have to taste it.

  4. Best line ever delivered about Starbucks was one that said their coffee tasted like it had been filtered through a hobo’s liver.

  5. I used to go to Starbucks for just a plain old cup of black coffee. Their medium roast (Pike Place) used to be decent. Not great, but good enough, and for a semi-reasonable price. But then something changed, because their coffee consistently did not taste good anymore. I asked myself how it was possible that an empire supposedly built around coffee couldn’t seem to serve even a halfway decent cup of coffee anymore.

    I started going to a coffee kiosk in the neighborhood grocery store owned and operated by a nice young guy from Seattle. He educated me about how important it is that coffee, whether whole beans or ground, be as fresh as possible. Once it goes past six months it is badly degraded and will develop that burnt flavor. He then told me that he used to work as a warehouseman at the main Starbucks warehouse there. They had thousands of pallets of coffee stacked all the way to the ceiling. More often than not, when he pulled pallets with the forklift, he would notice that the coffee they were shipping to the Starbucks stores all over North America was already at least nine to twelve months old since it was roasted. So your local Starbucks is probably brewing coffee that is well past it’s sell-by date.

    The few times I have bought a bag of Starbucks whole bean coffee in the grocery store I had the same experience as in the Starbucks store – the coffee tasted old and burnt. These days I use Seattle’s Best Post Alley Blend whole beans at home, which gives me a vastly superior cup of coffee than anything I ever got at Starbucks, and at a fraction of the price, too.

  6. We call it Charbucks. I’ve always thought their dreck tasted like cigarette ash, not coffee. We would rather get flavored coffee at a local store that gives a damn about pleasing customers, anyway. They keep their politics to themselves, thank Christ.

    1. I like the idea, and would gladly support a real American venture, but it’s ridiculously overpriced.

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