Rod Dreher says LOL get fucked, baby-killing carpetbaggers.
I’m so sorry. Really, just very sorry. Here entitled Yankees like the NYT’s Ginia Bellafante thought the American South existed to give Millennial Brooklynites a place to reproduce Park Slope, but more affordably, and now we’ve gone and ruined it for them with our deplorable social and religious views.
Okay, so right away you guys KNOW I ain’t gonna like tis bint’s twaddle much. Methinks an old-fashioned fisking might be in order here. Emphasis mine throughout.
“The New South’’ was a term conceived in the aftermath of the Civil War to suggest a set of aspirations of some southern elites who hoped to rebuild a backward and devastated place into a world better aligned with Northern urban values.
Oh, so THAT’S what it was, eh? Here I’d thought all these years it was something more comprehensible and less permanently damaging, like a plague of locusts or something. Too Biblical a reference to pass muster, probably.
Over the many decades, it has acquired various layers of nuance, but today it tends to call to mind a string of cities from Charlotte, N.C., to Austin, Tex., that have essentially been Brooklynized by way of a progressive social culture and a tweaked fidelity to some of the South’s more marketable traditions.
Uh huh. And eventually those cities will find they’ve been “Detroitized,” “Chicagoized,” and/or “San Franciscoized,” its residents stepping around humongous piles of human shit in the streets, dodging stray bullets on their way back to the exhorbitantly-priced 600-square-foot apartment they flatter outrageously by calling “home.”
Actually, you dope, Charlotte has been a very liberal city for as long as I’ve been alive—at least. Any recent Progressivist “Brooklynizing” was superfluous and unnecessary here. I can’t really speak for Austin, but I suspect it’s a similar story there. Not that it matters; as with any and every young Progressivist with absolutely no knowledge of or regard for the history of the places they choose to infest in their migratory meanderings, she just can’t help but pat herself on the back for the world of good she’s done for us inbred cretins, the improvements she’s so magnanimously making in our lives and surroundings. She seems completely unaware that these backwaters even existed before she flounced on in and plopped her sorry ass down in our midst.
How will these new abortion laws affect the redistribution of talent to places whose economies prosper from that talent? Under the current conditions, I wondered if women like Tess and her friends, many of whom moved from New York or Los Angeles, would have chosen to relocate to the Deep South. I asked some of them, and they told me that they were not sure.
One, Allison Gourlay, arrived in New Orleans a few years ago from a studio in Greenwich Village she could barely afford. At first she had a hard time finding work and questioned her decision.
“I was talking to a friend one day when I wasn’t sure and she said, ‘Stay, this place is about to blow up. It’s on the cusp of something big, can’t you feel it?’ This is cheesy, but I got goose bumps. New Orleans is really a place to establish work-life balance but I’m getting ready to start a family and it scares me,” she said.
Back to Dreher to handle that one:
She’s getting ready to start a family, but the possibility that the Louisiana legislature might make it harder for her to exterminate her unborn child makes her think about abandoning the city where things are otherwise pretty great for her?
Why not? Makes as much sense as any of the other nonsensical crap they spew. Myself, I encourage her to abandon, abandon away. Don’t waste a moment, honey, you might be too late. Better still, just don’t come down South in the first place. We’re all racist, homophobic, misogynist Neanderthals ’round here, you know: semi-retarded, Christian zealots to the marrow, implacably opposed to a Woman’s Right To Choose (to murder her baby for convenience’s sake), utterly hostile to Women’s Health Care (ie, unrestricted abortion) too. Every cliche you ever heard about us God-bothering knuckedraggers is one hundred percent true, I assure you. Be sure to tell all your hipster-douchebag friends, ‘kay?
“When you meet all these young people moving here who are so passionate and intelligent and changing the rules and making the city what it is, it is so inspiring. But it really worries me that it could no longer be that place.”
Yeah, how deeply awful it would be if our Southern cities were somehow transformed back into the peaceful, affordable, pleasant places they were before you goddamned urban-liberal transplants moved in and got busy turning them into the same kind of blighted Gomorrhian nightmare you left in ruins behind you.
“Making the city what it is”? It never once occurred to you that the city was already something long before you ever thought of moving there, and that maybe its long-time inhabitants liked it the way it was and had no wish to see their rules changed or their communities “Brooklynized,” did it? No, in your staggering arrogance, you and your fellow egotists arrive not to respectfully appreciate or assimilate but to wreck and radically alter, with neither permission nor invitation. Back once more to Dreher for the closing bitchslap:
I concede that it’s interesting to talk to progressive Northerners who moved South, thinking that the Grand March of Progress would inevitably make the benighted (but cheap) metropolises of Dixie into non-deplorable locales — but who are learning that they, in fact, live in the South.
What chaps my butt about the piece is the assumption by the author (and those she writes about) that the South ought to assimilate to the dominant progressive culture. The message of this piece is, If you Christianist troglodytes don’t let us progressives have our abortions, we’re not going to move there and contribute to your economies.
I have an idea! All y’all could pack up your progressive colonialism ethic and go the hell back home.
I have friends who are pro-choice Southern liberals. I believe they’re wrong about that, but this is their home, and I’ve got no problem with them speaking their minds, and advocating for the kinds of laws they would like to see. But you’d better believe I have a big problem with these people who come down to take what’s good out of the South, but the moment Southerners — who are in general more socially conservative — express through their democratically elected legislators opinions that run counter to the sensibilities of Williamsburg, these people are thinking of leaving? Go. Just, go.
DAMNED skippy. Go indeed; try y’all’s hand at fixing the nearly-uninhabitable rathole you fled, instead of colonizing us, whydon’tcha. Don’t let the door etc, y’heah?