Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Refugee problem: a practical solution

Francis calls it a “political wet dream.

John Whiteman, Prime Minister of a First World nation that shall go unidentified for obvious reasons, recently announced a change to his country’s “refugee” policies. He can’t change the law, but he can change how it’s observed in practice – and he has. Immediately afterward, he addressed a group of “refugees” that made it to his nation’s shores:

“Refugees, eh? Yet more than ninety percent of you are young men, all of you look healthy, and it looks like most of you have smart phones. What are you running from, the fathers of the girls you knocked up?

“According to our laws, we have to house you ‘refugees’ here…but only until we can return you to your home countries in safety. So here’s the deal: you’ll be living in tents, in this compound, which you won’t be permitted to leave. There’ll be no WiFi, no electricity, and no entertainment of any kind. Yes, there’ll be food and water, but we won’t care about your opinion of the food, and water will be all you get to drink. Clothes? What’s wrong with the clothes you’re wearing?

“The compound is surrounded by crew-served machine gun emplacements that are continuously manned. Anyone who tries to scale the fence will be shot down, no questions asked. His neighbors can dispose of his body; we certainly won’t want it.

“For extra security, you’ll all be wearing ankle monitors. Very special ankle monitors: if you cut through the band that holds them on, they explode. Guaranteed amputation of your lower leg. If one of you is detected outside the compound, he’ll be tracked down and executed wherever he’s found, again no questions asked. Yes, kids too. Some of you ‘teenagers’ have mighty impressive beards.

“We aren’t interested in hearing any demands from you. In fact, the very first demand any of you makes will get all of you loaded onto a raft and dragged a mile out to sea. Think you could make it back?

“Whoever survives this regime will be returned to his homeland when we think it’s safe. You won’t get a vote. After all, we didn’t get one when you decided to leave, and fair’s fair.

“So make yourselves at home! Those of you whose phones are working should call your buddies back in Dumbfuckistan and tell them about the conditions here. Especially you should tell them about the size of this compound – the fixed size of this compound. No matter how many ‘refugees’ arrive here, they’ll all be confined to the space you occupy now. No enlargement will be considered.

“Have a nice day!”

Do read on from there, you’ll like it. Unfortunately, you can safely bet that most Americans would be mortified and shocked by the “inhumane extremism” of the ideas explored therein, which speaks sad volumes about the rudderless moral chaos of our era.

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7 thoughts on “Refugee problem: a practical solution

  1. Far better to put those who fund, plan, and support this illegal alien terrorist invasion in there WITH them. And give them the “ankle monitors” as well. THAT would fix most of the problems in the world today. Anyone wanna bet what group would be imprisoned as the enablers? Anyone??? Here’s a hint: It ain’t likely to be the Bible Baptists. Nor the Saudis or any other ragheads.

    1. Agreed. One way to cut way back on illegals is to start jailing those that hire them illegally too. It could be done under existing law. Tax evasion on multiple levels, I’m sure more than a few OSHA violations, harboring/aiding/abetting a criminal while in commission of the crime. I bet this list could go on quite a bit and make for a good long stay at the iron bar inn for those ’employers’.

    1. We would have to get rid of our “Law Enforcement” and “Legal” system before we would have ANY hope of getting such.

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