Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Priorities

What to do, what to do?

An illegal immigrant and convicted sex offender has been arrested in Louisiana on more than 100 counts of child sex crimes, including producing child pornography and molesting a minor.

Miguel Martinez, 44, who’d been deported from the U.S. in 2005 and is a registered sex offender in the state of California, was charged after being found with a stash of 100 images and videos of child porn.

He was arrested in Harvey, where he was illegally residing, and also charged with one count of production of child pornography and one count of sexual battery of a juvenile under 13.  

Daniel tries to figure out what’s most important:

I certainly hope that protecting American children from illegal alien pedophiles doesn’t interfere with California’s avocado supply.

Me too. I mean, on the one hand, we have poor undocumented immigrants just trying to exercise their unquestionable right to enter our country without hindrance, attach themselves remora-like to Uncle Sugar’s bounteous welfare teat, and assault and murder our kids at their whim. On the other: delicious, healthy avocados. But as it happens, this near-insuperable dilemna has a cause, and it’s UNEXPECTED!™

But water eventually proved harder to come by than Shanley initially anticipated. On a tour of his 32-acre avocado grove, he pointed out the sparse fields of nearby avocado growers.

“Those were cut down because of lack of water. That farm went bankrupt,” he said, gesturing to one downhill neighbor. Pointing at another hill, Shanley said that neighbor’s grove had been reduced from 220 acres to 170 acres due to water shortages.

Shanley says it’s not just the high cost of transporting water to southern counties that has led growers to rip out groves.

“You don’t have wages going from $10 to $15 an hour in Mexico,” Shanley said. “It’s quite a bit less.”

With the limited number of places avocados are able to grow in, the amount of imported avocadoes has grown to keep pace with Americans’ appetites.

The U.S. government says that in 2013, the country imported more than $1 billion worth of avocados – with most of the imports – nearly 90 percent – coming from the U.S.’s southern neighbor, Mexico.

“We tried to fight it,” avocado grower Gene Nickel said, referring to Mexican imports.

I just bet so, you racist bastard. Daniel gets to the, ummm, nut of things:

I place the common avocado on a scale of edibility somewhere between a live goat and a boiled cactus. But in California, avocados are practically the state fruit, even though they’re widely imported from Mexico. This has led to the clickbait headline certain to fear into every hipster’s heart. If the border is closed, the avocado supply will be cut off.

Two things.

1. Edible avocados are already all but impossible to find in Southern California. They’re either overripe or stony. And horribly overpriced. 

2. California does grow avocados. It could grow more if not for the Democrats. Their artificial droughts and regulations.

I love avocados myself, but Daniel doesn’t seem to care for them at all. Maybe it’s one of those (((((INTERNATIONAL JOOO CONSPIRACY!!!))))) things, I dunno.

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2 thoughts on “Priorities

  1. Hm. As much as I love avocados, they’re not healthful. Avocados are high in calories, and very fatty! Got to keep watch over the arteries, right? (:-)

  2. Love avocados but not more than my fellow human beings. Up here in Indian country we can’t even buy a decent avocado. Either rotting already or straight from under ripe to rotting. Look great, feel right, high amount of black flesh inside. Mexico can keep their avocados especially if that means they also keep their pedophiles.

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