The Brexit that wasn’t.
It’s April 1st, and this was supposed to be the first business day of a post-EU United Kingdom, with planes dropping from the skies, Mars Bars melting in your hand, and doughty Irishmen of north and south paralyzed in permanent immobility by the psychological terrors of an invisible Berlin Wall that had mysteriously arisen overnight across sleepy country lanes in Killeen. Instead, thanks to Theresa (“Brexit means Brexit”) May, Britain wakes up and finds itself still in the EU. It turns out Brexit doesn’t mean Brexit, but, if you give ’em a couple more weeks or months or years, the political class assures us that one day they’ll be able to agree on which unending and degrading vassal status Brussels should get to impose means Brexit.
In the midst of this uprising by the elites against the masses, enter John Major. No, I don’t know who he is, either. Oh, wait …it seems he was the bloke back in the Nineties keeping the “Most Useless Tory Prime Minister” seat warm until Mrs May came along. Just in time for All Fools’ Day, Sir John argues that to solve the “Brexit impasse” Britain may need a national government – ie, Conservative, Labour, Liberal, Scots Nats, Irish Republicans, Welsh Sheep-Dippers, whatever… A Ministry of All the Non-Talents, to modify Lord Grenville.
The press has already moved on to speculating who will succeed Theresa May. But, really, who cares? If Westminster can’t rouse itself to recover the sovereignty of the United Kingdom, what’s the point of a “Prime Minister”?
They’re all “citizens of the world” now, old bean. B eing such, they’re not in the least fussed over so piffling a notion as “sovereignty.” They’re far too sophisticated for such quaint, archaic twaddle, eh wot?
It is now necessary to have a crash-out no-deal Brexit just to teach a contemptible political class the vital lesson that nobody needs ’em.
If there’s ever to be any Brexit—and there isn’t; the EU will magnanimously allow Brits to keep holding votes until the lowing cattle gets this thing right—it will only be by way of a “crash-out” of one sort or another.