Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Global not-warmening

A California faceplant.

California is the land of endless summer. The Beach Boys are catching a wave in front of bikini-clad girls with bushy, bushy blonde hairdos under the warm California sun. The Beach Boys were writing music long before global warming became a thing. In those days, Oscar winners were thanking all the little people for helping them win an award, not preaching to those same little people about climate change and our Cro-Magnon president.

The times have changed. The Beach Boys have been replaced by Katy Perry and Lady Gaga.

LIKE HELL. Not at my house, buddy. No way.




Yeah, the song is an ode to a damned old Chevy hunk of junk, but I still love it. Anyways.

The Los Angeles Times recently reported how cold February was, not reaching 70 degrees even once during the entire month. They bemoaned the poor coastal restaurants that needed portable heaters to warm waiters and diners eating outdoors, a staple of Southern California dining.

They didn’t mention how the heaters were powered.

Given the preponderance of enviro-Luddite loons in California, the really important question is probably how much longer they’re gonna be able to power ’em. Or maybe why such evil technological Gaia-busting devices haven’t been banned, confiscated, and destroyed yet in the first place.

The LA Times notes the month of below 70 degree temperatures is a record dating back 132 years, “since forecasters began recording data.” These myopic journalists don’t realize that LA has been around for more than 132 years. I suspect if one were to look back hundreds, thousands, or millions of years, there would be months far cooler than this past February, and far warmer than anything recorded in the past 132 years.

Given that the Earth is 4.5 billion years old, it’s the ultimate in hubris to believe that the time we happen to inhabit the Earth represents “normal.” Modern journalism and hubris are synonymous. If you don’t believe me, just read CNN’s Jim Acosta’s Twitter feed.

Los Angeles even had a bit of snow. This causes a National Weather Service meteorologist to remark, “We’ve had cold mornings and freeze conditions, but I don’t remember seeing anything quite this cold.” I don’t recall any Beach Boys songs about Southern California snow.

Okay, so by now you’re probably getting the idea that this here is one snarky, sarcastic bitchslap of an article. It is, and it’s a hell of a lot of fun.

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2 thoughts on “Global not-warmening

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