Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

The science is settled

Can we start calling them “gender deniers,” maybe?

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The “anti-science” and “anti-facts” Trump administration is considering reverting the definition of gender to a biological, objective, scientific standard, drawing the ire of the “pro-science” left.

Critics have long claimed Trump is opposed to science, and they believe his decision to use scientific standards to define gender prove his anti-science stance.

“Trump obviously can’t stand scientific facts, and that’s why he’s hatefully changing the definition of gender to a biological, objective standard,” said one MSNBC host. “The true lover of science knows that gender is a nebulous, imaginary concept that you can change based on your feelings.” The hosts of the program then chanted “Love trumps hate!” for a full 45 minutes before the show ended.

Congressional Democrats held a press conference shortly after the news of the reversion to anti-science scientific standards. “This is unconscionable,” said Nancy Pelosi. “These scientific standards will set us back thousands of years—or at least a few years, to when we changed the definition of gender in the first place.”

It’s gotta be tough writing for the Bee, what with having to come up with ways to parody people like Pelosi and all. I mean honestly now, doesn’t that sound exactly like something the cracked, bilious old bitch would say?

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"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

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