Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

All cucked out

I do believe Schlichter has had it with certain insufferable baglappers.

You know all that insufferable babbling and crying about “principles” we had to endure from you Never Trump Konservative Ken Dolls? Your rending of your cheap suits, your 180s over classic GOP policies because The Donald actually tried to enact them, and your mortifying blubbering to suddenly sympathetic hosts on MSNBC and CNN about how awful our President is? With your sad, drawn faces and high-pitched voices, you True Conservatives of Conservatism™, you Keepers of the Flame of Conservativeness resisted the coming of Donald Trump (and those who supported him) because…because…

Because that’s not who we are…

Because we’re better than that…

Because…our principles!

Our principles. Yeah, right. Well, it was all a crock, a con, a grift by a bunch of displaced Beltway strivers furious that the marks – that’s us Normals – wised up to their scam, played the players, and sent them packing.

While we’re on the topic of supercilious, ineffectual frauds:

Former presidential candidate Evan McMullin owes his former campaign staff members tens of thousands of dollars and most believe he has no intention of ever paying them, a former campaign worker tells The Daily Caller News Foundation.

Right before McMullin’s failed bid for president in 2016 as the conservative alternative to President Donald Trump, the campaign was inundated with debt. The disastrous fiscal situation was a combination of frivolous spending by McMullin and his campaign manager Joel Searby, according to the former staffer.

That same report from TheDCNF demonstrated that the campaign has been potentially violating federal campaign finance law for nearly a year because it has ceased performing the required monthly filings despite numerous warnings from the FEC.

But..but…but…MUH FISCAL-RESPONSIBILITY-CONSERVATIVE PRINCIPLES!!!

“Guys like [McMullin] are up on their high horse. I want the American public to know that this guy isn’t suitable to be in office anywhere. I wouldn’t even trust him on my local city council knowing what I know now,” he said.

Oh, I don’t think anyone needs to waste any time worrying about that anymore. His usefulness as “true conservative” Bill Kristol’s sockpuppet has dried up, so McMuffin will be gallumphing on back into well-deserved obscurity until his arrest, arraignment, and trial gets a glancing mention in one of those whatever-happened-to segments on Entertainment Tonight.

We killed two birds with one stone with this one, and it’s pretty sweet: firstly, McMuffin became a national laughingstock with a quickness. Secondly, Kristol’s attempt to usurp the Konservative Kingmaker throne fell flat on its flabby ass. A nice day’s work all around, folks. We now return you to Schlichter for more Singapore-style flogging.

You don’t hate Donald Trump because he feels he can ignore your glorious principles o’ convenience. You hate Donald Trump because he feels he can ignore you.

And same with the rest of the Normals, those of us who had to spend decades listening to your excuses and lies until we noticed that the cruise ship captains of the conservative elite had been treading water. Oh yeah, every election you promised to fight, and after every election all you did was fail. But you had a good gig, as long as the bipartisan elite grift was in effect. When the GOP won, you were the in-crowd, and you raked in donations and media hits with the promise that you would use the power we gave you to make real conservative change.

But that never seemed to happen.

It was a pretty good scam, that is, until we got tired of being lied to and installed a disruptor into office. And what we hired him to disrupt was your sweet little gig.

We rejected you. Us unwashed, uncivilized, non-DC/NY-living nobodies rejected you, and now you can’t even get your phone calls returned from that 24-year old guy in a MAGA hat down at the Old Executive Office Building. You’re a nobody, a punchline, writing articles nobody reads for magazines no one remembers.

Ouch. I mean, just…ouch. That is DEFINITELY gonna leave a mark.

I can’t be the only one who finds it an absolute scream that both wings of our professional-politician class, right along with the priggish punditry, just can’t seem to help but shoot themselves in the foot over and over now that we’re on to their flimflammery. The curtain has been pulled back (thanks in very large measure to one Donald J Trump), exposing the Great and Powerful Wizard of Washington as just some frumpy schlub hiding in a booth pulling levers, pushing buttons, and speaking imperiously into a microphone.

The whole DC circle-jerk is a three-ring farce of, by, and for vainglorious blowhards. As with all clown acts, the pie in the face at the end is the funniest part of the whole show.

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"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

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