Time to get back to work at Job One: kicking Lefty while he’s down.
When we gather together this Christmas, it’s going to be super-awkward since everybody is dead because Donald Trump pulled out of the Paris Climate Scam, repealed net neutrality, and cut taxes. The depredations of Genghis Khan, the Black Plague, and the repeal of the Obamacare mandate – these are pretty much the same thing. Santa Claus and all of our dreams are dead too.
On the plus side, since we are all dead there’s no one to make egg nog, which is the worst of all possible nogs.
“You know what these eggs need? Some milk. And then rum.”
No. Whoever invented egg nog is the second grossest human being ever who is not Lena Dunham, exceeded in grossness only by the first person being who thought, “Look, an oyster! I know. I’ll put that slimy thing in my mouth.”
The Democrats are the egg nog of American politics. Discuss.
The rest of the column is great fun too, but I felt it was most important to get this part in as the excerpt portion, every word of which I wholeheartedly endorse. Especially that bit about oysters. Ugh.