Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

A Veteran’s Day request

A most modest one, seems to me.

But as we don’t yet live in the Heinleinian Utopia where only we proven worthies get to vote, and the rest of you get to lump it, we will content ourselves knowing that we few, we happy few, are your betters, whether we have this day or not, mainly because we don’t spend the other 364 days a year reminding you of the fact, nor refer to our elected leader as el heneral and Maximum Leader For Life, unlike so many of our neighbors in this and other hemispheres’ Republiques de Bananes.

We’d really be happy if you lot could manage to simply salute the flag instead of burning it or wiping your hindquarters with it, sing the anthem standing up, show the barest minimum of courtesy to them and the republic for which they stand, and generally, not make us regret the sacrifices we make or made on your behalf, and simply treat your citizenship in the greatest country on earth as the unbelievable honor and privilege it is, and simply exercise it with an appropriately small measure of respect and the teensiest of gratitude to those who make it possible. That shouldn’t be too much to ask of those among the population who enjoy all the benefits, without ever having taken so much as a physical exam.

But if even that minimal effort is too challenging for those douchenozzles who deserve nothing so much as a healthy bitch-slapping with a tire iron, we’d settle for their simple respectful silence, just for a day.

Oh, wouldn’t we all. Personally, I’d be willing to settle for five minutes, myself. What the hell, it’d be a start. As a somewhat-related aside, I’d also ask that those hired to lead in singing the anthem before televised sportsball events just sing it more or less straight, and refrain from the soi-discant R&B-style yodeling and shrieking so prevalent among today’s celebrity pop singers trying to make the whole thing more about themselves than the anthem these days. But I realize that would be a bridge way too far, and don’t harbor any real hope for it.

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"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

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