Okay, they’ve gone way beyond merely pathetic at this point.
A Greek Life retreat at the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) was promptly cancelled this weekend after a banana peel was found hanging in a tree.
“To be clear, many members of our community were hurt, frightened, and upset by what occurred at IMPACT,” Interim Director of Fraternity and Sorority Life Alexa Lee Arndt remarked in an email between Greek leaders, according to The Daily Mississippian. “Because of the underlying reality many students of color endure on a daily basis, the conversation manifested into a larger conversation about race relations today at the University of Mississippi.”
Yeah, an “underlying reality” that must surely include being taunted by every white person they ever encountered or heard tell of as watermelon-eating, fried-chicken-chasing ape-men—darkies who are most likely tormented more by the absence of a banana in that peel rather than the empty, discarded peel itself and whatever delusion it represents to them. I mean, I know that’s the sort of thing I always assume about them thar “people of color,” at least.
There’s only one little problem for the hypersensitive little twinkies:
Apparently, student Ryan Swanson admitted to discarding the banana peel in a tree after he was unable to locate a garbage can, and it was later spotted by Alpha Kappa Alpha President Makala McNeil, who leads one of the campuses historically black sororities.
“The overall tone was heavy. I mean, we were talking about race in Mississippi and in the Greek community so there’s a lot involved,” McNeil recalled, later adding that she and her friend were “all just sort of paranoid for a second” after spotting the banana.
After word of the banana spread throughout the retreat, leaders decided to end the event early. Arndt explained that she “felt it was imperative to provide space immediately to students affected by this incident.”
Oh, good God. Note to overly delicate, mollycoddled American Negroes like these self-absorbed children: Get over yourdamnedselves already, you fucking feeble freaks. My sarcastic and intentionally offensive riposte above aside, the truth is that white people don’t care about your neuroses; white people spend very little time even thinking about you at all, and certainly aren’t spending their every waking moment plotting ways to insult you, assault you, and freak you out over meaningless trivia. Trust me, white people are perfectly content to leave you the hell alone and let you get on with your day, as they want to be left alone to get on with theirs.
A little harsh reality: yes, there are indeed an insignificant handful of white people who DO fret themselves over their own neuroses about black people; there are also those who don’t like Asians, Jews, Hispanics, New Yorkers, Canadians, or (probably) Eskimos. These people are never going to be your brothers, no matter what you do or how hard you try.
However, I assure you most sincerely: absolutely none of the rest of us—the HUGE majority—give a shit about them, and don’t waste any time bothering ourselves about anything they might do or say. They have absolutely NO institutional power in this country; they haven’t for decades, and our national past notwithstanding (which is not significantly different in this regard than that of almost any other country or society you could name) they never will again. Their opinions matter to no one but themselves. There will always be a handful of them around, sure, and there’s not one damned thing you, I, or anybody else can do about that. I recommend you ignore them, just like the overwhelming majority of the rest of us do. They will then fade into just so much background noise. I promise you, you’ll be a whole lot happier for it, and you won’t end up making yourselves look nearly so foolish, hysterical, and weak in the future as you assuredly do right now.
And a necessary word about that darker past: the people who lived in those times (and, yes, systematically oppressed and mistreated people “of color,” along with plenty of lighter-complected sorts as well) were acting in accordance with the universally-accepted standards of the era. They also believed that leeches were a good treatment for all sorts of diseases; did not understand anything at all about bacterial and viral infection; did not have air conditioning, electricity, indoor plumbing, deodorant, or toothpaste. They had to make their own soap. If they wanted chicken for dinner, they had to chase it down and wring its neck themselves, then pluck it, dress it, and cook it, sometimes over an open fire (my own grandmother did this). They did not have access to cars, supermarkets, Wal Mart, motorized lawnmowers, the internet, or cell phones. In fact, many of them didn’t have phones at all. A now-shockingly large percentage of the women died in childbirth; many of their children didn’t survive past the age of five. Diseases that we now consider little more than a minor nuisance were life-threatening then; a toothache or common stomach bug could be a death sentence, and quite often was. The average life expectancy for them was about half what it is now.
They weren’t evil, or most of them weren’t. They were just ignorant. Just as future generations will likely feel we are now, about all kinds of things we can’t even begin to imagine.
The drudgery, difficulty, and danger they faced every minute of their daily existence was incomprehensible to us now; their acceptance of those difficulties and their determination to just get on with it ought to be instructive and inspirational to every one of us. Judging those people by our own standards, therefore, is foolish, unfair, and unhelpful. It is a mistake, and a peculiarly petty one—not least because it leads us to disdain our forebears, who can’t be fairly said to have been wrong about everything, and whose every idea should not be dismissed because of a few outdated or unenlightened ones they hadn’t quite gotten figured out yet.
The thing too many of our present-day whiny losers seem to prefer to forget, deny, or not even to know: IT’S NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE. It truly isn’t. Things are different now. Very much so. The people whose distant and long-dead ancestors were slaves here whining as if they themselves were currently enslaved ought to:
- Reflect for a single fucking moment that there are plenty of countries—most of them in or near Africa, most of them run by Muslims—where chattel slavery is still accepted practice
- Grow a pair and give thanks they don’t live in any of those places
- Shut the fucking fuck up already
Alternatively, you could all go right on making yourselves look like pussified jackasses, weeping bitter, salty tears and having a psychotic break over a fucking discarded banana peel. Believe me, if some one of the handful of real white racists out there wanted to insult you, they aren’t going to be oblique or subtle about it, and there won’t be much room for any mistaken interpretations of the event. You’re going to know it, and won’t have to make any labored assumptions about what they’re doing or why they’re doing it.
Until then, let’s just all take a breath and calm down, ‘kay? We’ll deal with that if and when we come to it, and in the meantime your silly-assed assumptions about how all white people must surely feel about you have a certain whiff of, umm, racism to them, to be blunt. These little tantrums aren’t helping anybody…least of all yourselves. To tell the truth, we’re all more embarrassed for you than anything else at this point.