Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Dragon swallows sun, spits it back out again, Trump to blame!

Oh, and while we’re at it, the stupid eclipse was RACIST™, by the way.

No, really.

The Atlantic’s very lengthy essay on the failure of the eclipse to occur where a sufficient number of black people reside is entitled “American Blackout.” It clocks in at a remarkable 4,544 words and does not appear to be satire.

Concerning “the Great American Eclipse,” Brooklyn Law School professor Alice Ristroph writes in the rapidly deteriorating magazine, “there live almost no black people” “along most of its path.”

The Atlantic’s longwinded law professor assures readers that “implicit bias of the solar system” is “presumably” not the cause of eclipse’s failure to affect enough black people.

“Still, an eclipse chaser is always tempted to believe that the skies are relaying a message.”

How awful it must be to cling so furiously to a belief system that makes you this miserable. And, y’know, stupid. Right out in public, no less.

“Implicit bias of the solar system.” “Presumably.” I mean, good LORD, man. You can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for the poor buffoon.

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3 thoughts on “Dragon swallows sun, spits it back out again, Trump to blame!

  1. Sorry?
    NO
    Not unless you are willing to redefine that as just walking in and not saying a word, and caving his face in with a pipe wrench. And if he gurgles “why?”
    HIT HIM AGAIN

  2. Columbia Law School, one of the most respected, has instructors like this? Is it any wonder the judiciary in our country, which apparently has great problems reading and understanding relatively simple English, has “pretzled” the Constitution so badly it’s barely recognizable?

  3. Obviously there is implicit bias in the solar system, but it’s an Asian Supremacist bias. After all, isn’t everything in the solar system forced to orbit a yellow star? See, this SJW stuff is easy!

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