Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

A plague of locusts

They fouled their own nest. Now they’re coming to foul yours.

Last year, three states in the Northeast — New Jersey, New York and Connecticut — landed in the top five places people were moving out of fastest, according to 2017 data from United Van Lines. (The other two states on the list were Illinois and Kansas.) And data from Pew Charitable Trusts found that while people are all about moving to the South (their population grew by nearly 1.4 million people from 2014 to 2015) and the West (866,000 more people), the population growth in the Northeast is “sluggish.”

The Northeastern exodus is particularly acute in many big cities like New York City. Since 2010, more than 1 million people have moved from the New York area — which includes parts of New Jersey, Connecticut and Long Island — to other parts of the country.

So why are so many Northerners packing their bags?

Three guesses, only one of which involves the harsh winters—a direct result of global warming, no doubt.

Either way, they’re coming, and your hometown will never be the same. Even worse, coming right along with them will be hordes of neurotic “liberal” harpies obsessed with their physical attractiveness.

For Zoë Barry, feeling attractive in New York was an impossible feat. The 32-year-old, who grew up in Stuy Town and attended an all-girls private school, says her self-esteem was slowly sapped by the city’s sky-high beauty standards. “As a woman, you’re never enough,” says the sporty 5-foot-6 CEO. “I was never tall enough or slim enough. It grates on you after a while — that pressure to be a walking mannequin.”

So Barry pulled a confidence-boosting move that more and more New Yorkers are considering lately: She fled NYC for a city that actually appreciates her.

“A bruised ego is a very common New York syndrome,” says Upper East Side psychologist Kathryn Smerling. “There’s always someone who’s going to be better-looking or have nicer clothes than you. It’s a perennial quest for perfection.”

Manhattan-based psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert says the trickle-down effect is especially painful when it comes to looks — and finding love. “It’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed,” he says. “New York City creates an underlying push not just to keep up with the Joneses but outdo them. This makes it very difficult for people to feel good about themselves. Leaving is definitely on the increase.”

Even conventionally gorgeous women risk getting swapped out by spoiled men.

If you click on over to the article and peruse the accompanying photos, you’ll see that not one of these women is “conventionally gorgeous,” or anything like it. There’s nothing at all wrong with them, mind, except for their neurosis about their looks, and the accompanying lack of self-esteem. They’re perfect ordinary women, in truth: not gorgeous, not ugly, just…kinda plain.

But see, that’s the way it is with beauty: its value is entirely due to its rarity. No, girls, you’re not all beautiful; if you were, the word “beautiful” would of necessity mean something entirely different, and we’d need to find another descriptor for those few of us whose looks are extraordinary. Moreover, in the supermodel capital of the world, well, even a truly striking woman might end up looking…well, ordinary in comparison. Like, say, the girls in the article.

All this heartache and angst is entirely the fault of “spoiled men,” of course.

Meanwhile, after soaking up all that kvetching and complaining, we Southerners are wondering if Trump could maybe be persuaded to build his big beautiful wall a bit further north than he originally planned.

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5 thoughts on “A plague of locusts

  1. To be fair to some New Yorkers leaving this turdhole of a state, Governor Andrew “Just as much of a liberal piece of shit as my father but much much stupider” Cuomo told conservatives that there’s no place for them in the state.

    For myself, I’d have left NYS ages ago if not for family issues. With the possible exception of a city councilman or such, I’ve never voted for a winning candidate. My “no” votes on borrowing initiatives were either overwhelmed by the votes of the unionized government employees or, on the one time the bond bill was defeated, simply ignored by the state government. My voice not only doesn’t matter, it’s positively unwelcome, so to hell with New York State.

  2. Native New Yorkers who are female tend to be plain, egoistic, rude, and if the fact be known horrible, rude people. This woman has reason to feel inferior, if you have ever lived in NYC you know the type. The person who sees you coming to the elevator and ignores your request to hold it. The kind of person who cuts ahead of you in a line. The kind of female who cannot stop looking in a mirror though she makes Martha Ray look like Sophia Loren.

  3. REALLY? So if I understand dear Zoe, her life in NYC is soooo tragic because the other girls are prettier and have nicer clothes and better jobs, blah, blah, blah. WTF over! Fucking liberals are the most self centered, childish pussy’s on the planet and mentally and emotionally stuck in middle school. I live in western NC outside of one of three liberal holy cities. When we do venture into the freak show that is Asheville, we laugh our asses off at the pretension and pathetic one upmanship always on display by the coexist crowd. My husband has an LGBT T-shirt he occasionally wears (not if we are going to eat though). The looks on the little darlings faces when they realize it says Liberty, Guns, Beer, Tits is priceless. Zoe dear go west. Please DO NOT come south.

  4. You know, I never understood the word “wall” as not having a plural form. Just sayin’.

  5. Dear Sir:
    S
    orry I couldn’t respond earlier to the PERTINENT entry regarding the Moslem acid-attax in UK-istan.
    Please accept this info as true & ACCURATE:
    Moslems have six different authorized methods to deceive non-Moslems (& their fellow Moslems!):
    ….1.•.Taqiyya (Shi’a) or Muda’rat (Sunni): tactical deceit for the purposes of spreading Islam.
    ….2.•.Kitman: deceit by omission.
    ….3.•.Tawriya: deceit by ambiguity.
    ….4.•.Taysir: deceit through facilitation (not having to observe all the tenets of Shari’a).
    ….5.•.Darura: deceit through necessity (to engage in something “Haram” or forbidden).
    ….6.•.Muruna: the temporary suspension of Shari’a to make Moslem migrants appear ‘moderate’ (think: Mrs. Huma Abedin…HITLERY’s favorite CHEW-toy!).

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