Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Whaaa…?

Okay, I can’t even. I just…can’t even.

Trayvon Martin’s getting a college degree.

The slain Florida teenager — killed by George Zimmerman five years ago — will be awarded a posthumous bachelor’s degree in aeronautical science from Florida Memorial University.

Martin’s parents, Sybrina Fulton and Tracy Martin, will accept the degree on his behalf during the school’s spring commencement on May 13. Fulton is an alumnus of the school, a historically black university in Miami Gardens.

The aeronautics degree is in “honor of the steps he took during his young life toward becoming a pilot,” the school said in a Facebook post. Florida Memorial’s Department of Aviation and Safety has a designated Cessna pilot training center, and the school also houses the Trayvon Martin Foundation.

Florida Memorial wanted to award the degree to Martin now because, if he had lived and attended the college, he would have been graduating this year, said school President Roslyn Clark Artis.

If he had lived…and attended the college. And paid attention in class, and completed his assigned coursework, and not mugged random white people along the way, and spent most of his time getting high and robbing random victims, and generally being the useless violent thug he was.

On her Twitter page, Fulton thanked the university for honoring her son. She said he became interested in aviation after attending summer camps at Florida Memorial.

“He was so excited,” she told CNN. “But he couldn’t decide whether we wanted to fly planes or fix them.” Martin took aviation courses in high school, as well as a few flying lessons.

Well, hey, bless his little heart. Maybe if he’d actually followed up and pursued that, he might have ended up as something other than a parasitical drain on society who got his just deserts when he made the mistake of picking on someone prepared to defend himself instead of laying down and begging for mercy like Martin expected.

Martin was shot and killed in February 2012 by Zimmerman, a neighborhood watch captain in Sanford, Florida. Zimmerman had called 911 to report a suspicious person in his neighborhood and later got into a fight with the 17-year-old. Zimmerman said he shot Martin in self-defense.

“Got into a fight.” Umm, no. Zimmerman was viciously assaulted by Martin, who WAS a suspicious person, and successfully defended himself after being jumped and having his head smashed into the pavement repeatedly by this predator. Zimmerman said he shot Martin in self-defense…because it’s true. That is exactly what he did. Just like you would have, just like I would have, just like any sensible, self-respecting person would have if it happened to us.

But hey, we mustn’t let inconvenient truths get in the way of a good narrative, right? Poor, poor little Trayvon, an innocent child whose dreams reached to the stars themselves, but who saw those beautiful dreams snuffed out by a vicious, hateful, bigoted White Hispanic who murdered him for no reason, no reason at all.

Just who do these malignant assholes think they’re fooling with this transparent horseshit, anyway? Certainly not anybody who’s ever suffered the misfortune of having to live in a neighborhood populated by the likes of Trayvon Martin, that’s for sure.

(Via Sundance)

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7 thoughts on “Whaaa…?

  1. It was established at the trial that Martin had spotted Zimmerman, and instead of keeping his distance, he circled around and confronted him. He initiated the encounter. And he damn sure didn’t pound that guy’s head on the cement after he was shot.

    But I stand in awe of Florida Memorial University, named in honor of Florida Evans of the Chicago projects. Giving an aeronautics degree to a dead drug-dealing ghetto thug. That is some elite, bleeding-edge affirmative action right there.

  2. “Okay, I can’t even. I just…can’t even.”

    I can. Even!

    *deadpan* Hey. We can’t have Former President Obama’s only son being an uneducated illiterate lout without an honorary degree to match his illustrious father’s honorary Nobel Peace Prize, now, can we?

    *looks askance at comment* Boy howdy. The sarcasm was just dripping off of that one, wasn’t it? I think my keyboard is corroding now.

    I seem to be turning into a sour, cynical, mean old bastard in my old age, don’t I? 😉

  3. Huh. Another new thing I learned today: getting high = wanting to be a pilot. I never knew that!

    Guess I’ll stock up on Purple Drank too; never too late to get my Aeronautics Degree! (Do I have to beat up people too, or is that optional?)

  4. (Do I have to beat up people too, or is that optional?)

    Only if you’re doing undergraduate work for your Masters, Esky.

    I think for your Doctorate, you have to make a rap video and shoot someone. Extra points if you shoot them in the rap video and then post it to Facebook.

  5. @Eskyman
    Ground Control to Major Tom
    Ground Control to Major Tom
    Take your Red Bull mix
    And put your thug life on

  6. ‘Ding Dong! The Thug is dead! The wicked Thug, the wicked Thug is dead!
    Ding Dong! The Thug is dead! Which wicked Thug? Trayvon the Thug! Trayvon the Thug is dead!!’

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