Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Thank GOODNESS

The unofficial state government of North Carolina—the NCAA, ACC, and various other sportsball entities—is pleased with our capitulation to the now-unquestioned right of perverts to take advantage of our flaccid acquiescence to having them share bathroom space with our young daughters.

SAINTS BE PRAISED! Our long national nightmare is at last over, and there will no longer be any distinction made between the men’s and the ladies’ bog!

GREENSBORO, N.C. (theACC.com) – As announced previously by the Atlantic Coast Conference Council of Presidents, contracted league championships will return to neutral sites in the state of North Carolina, beginning with the 13th annual Dr Pepper ACC Football Championship Game on December 2 at Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte.

“Neutral sites”? What in the hell does THAT mean?

The ACC Council of Presidents voted last September to relocate neutral site championship events in each of those sports for the 2016-17 academic year. The Council’s decision to return neutral site championships to North Carolina, beginning with the 2017-18 academic year, took place on Friday, March 31. 

“We are pleased that ACC neutral site championships will return to the state of North Carolina beginning with the 2017-18 academic year,” said ACC Commissioner John Swofford. “We value all of our partners in North Carolina and appreciate their support and cooperation. We are thrilled to renew our relationships with so many terrific people, outstanding cities and first-class venues.”

There that “neutral sites” thing is again; I can only surmise that it’s an inside-sportsball term that denotes someplace where there is no home team, rather than a site as yet unscorched by the hot cultural civil war currently raging between sane people versus determined Progressivists and their useful-idiot freaks-of-the-week.

Admittedly, I do still look forward to the day—coming really, really soon now—when I walk brazenly into the ladies’, whip out my schlong, piss in the sink, peer under a few stalls, and then declare over the very first objection anyone dares utter: I FEEL PRETTY! I expect to have plenty of company—not from the transgenders, Lord help them, but from the straight pervs who will eagerly take advantage of the new opportunities handed them by untrammeled idiot PC. And, in fact, already are.

Any society willing to completely upend its most basic strictures to accommodate the merest handful of pitiful, disturbed sickos is not a society that will long endure. Nor does it deserve to.

Why, it’s almost enough to make me welcome our new Muslim overlords; they’ll put these people, umm, straight, I’m guessing. And with a quickness, too. Hey, nobody is wrong about everything, right?

Yeah, I know, I know. I denounce myself.

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1 thought on “Thank GOODNESS

  1. Saints be praised! We have a shyster governor elected under the cloud of voter fraud and now the NCAA is going to give us the privilege of hosting a tournament of knuckleheads who bring in millions of dollars to the schools they play for and most of whom will end up not playing professional sports but instead will be asking you if you want to biggie-size your fries. As an added bonus, pedophiles will now have access to whichever bathroom serves their purpose. Life in NC is indeed good.

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