Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Ewan McMuffin soldiers on!

Courage. Or, y’know, something.

In case you have forgotten who McMullin is (though you and most other Americans might find it impossible to forget someone you never really knew), he worked for the CIA for 10 years overseas, followed by a stint at Goldman Sachs, and then spent a few years as a House staffer until earlier this summer. He was flattered into running for president by the same brain trust that hatched a failed scheme to recruit David French, a relatively obscure writer and lawyer at National Review, for the purpose of thwarting Trump and electing Hillary Clinton. French, however, was self-respecting enough to understand when he was being taken for a fool; McMullin, not so much.

To no one’s surprise, McMullin’s candidacy was largely a sideshow, aimed at providing cover for movement conservatism in the event of the “inevitable” loss these gurus were convinced was coming for Trump. His campaign was straight out of a Christopher Buckley novel; though he evidently wasn’t in on the joke. Self-awareness is not one of McMullin’s strong suits, to say the least.

McMullin ran on the platform that if only Americans would invoke the principles of the Declaration of Independence enough, and apply them to the whole world with verve, we could solve our national problems. Never mind the hard work of connecting principles to policies that serve the common good. Statesmanship is for chumps. Simple sophistry will suffice to bind our nation’s wounds. The rednecks in Appalachia just need to quit their incessant yapping about their trials and travails and read their trusty pocket Constitutions everyday. That’ll do the trick.

At this point, McMullin has resigned himself to being a Twitter warrior, calling out Trump for everything under the sun.

McMuffin is a shameless fool, and a perfect marker for absolutely everything that’s gone wrong in this country over the last, oh, sixty years or so. As Sabo says, it’s going to be hard for Americans to forget completely about somebody they never knew about in the first place. But I’m confident that we’re up to the challenge.

Read all of this one, too. The closing paragraphs are priceless.

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1 thought on “Ewan McMuffin soldiers on!

  1. I wonder how much he is being paid by the Kochs and the rest of the eGOP Koch-suckers? Or do you really still doubt that they are nothing more than the other end of the same steaming turd as the Democrats?

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