Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01


Jesus H Christ, are you fucking kidding me? Seriously?

It felt to me like a bazooka — and sounded like a cannon.

One day after 49 people were killed in the Orlando shooting, I traveled to Philadelphia to better understand the firepower of military-style weapons and, hopefully, explain their appeal to gun lovers.

But mostly, I was just terrified.

Yeah, I could smell the piss drenching your Underoos from here, you simpering pusscake.

I’ve shot pistols before, but never something like an AR-15. Squeeze lightly on the trigger and the resulting explosion of firepower is humbling and deafening (even with ear protection).

The recoil bruised my shoulder, which can happen if you don’t know what you’re doing (bold mine, explanation unnecessary—M). The brass shell casings disoriented me as they flew past my face. The smell of sulfur and destruction made me sick. The explosions — loud like a bomb — gave me a temporary form of PTSD. For at least an hour after firing the gun just a few times, I was anxious and irritable.

Even in semi-automatic mode, it is very simple to squeeze off two dozen rounds before you even know what has happened. If illegally modified to fully automatic mode, it doesn’t take any imagination to see dozens of bodies falling in front of your barrel.

All it takes is the will to do it.

Forty nine people can be gone in 60 seconds.

Well, unless ONE SINGLE OTHER MOTHERFUCKING PERSON who knew what they were doing and possessed at least one functioning testicle—and wasn’t a goddamned gutless, sniveling pussy like yourself—happened to be there too, prepared to deal with a situation that, thanks to cowards like you and the socialist scum you insist on electing to run our lives for us, will become more and more usual in this country. But being such a pathetic excuse for a man, you just GOTTA make sure everybody else is legally required to be as crippled and worthless as you are, right?

Here’s a hilarious dramatic recreation of this twerp’s AR experience. I doubt it’s much different from the sad reality.

If this is what most Americans are content to think of—and tolerate—as “manhood” nowadays, we are fucked all to hell and gone. Yes, I know the vid is a spoof, and it’s a good one. I only wish I could say the article itself was. Looks like Culture of Cowardice is another new category I’ll regrettably be getting a lot of use out of.

Update! Just to wash the foul taste out of all our mouths here.

His name may not be as recognizable as the late Chris Kyle, but Eugene Stoner is the man behind the design of the AR-15. “American Sniper” Kyle’s autobiograpy and motion picture, depicted Kyle using a sniper variant of the AR-15. It all began in 1954 when Stoner, a World War II veteran, became the Chief Engineer of ArmaLite. Today, not only is the AR-15 extremely popular, AR15 accessories can be purchased separately so gun owners can create a fully customized rifle. It has become a favorite rifle for militaries, sportsmen, and preppers alike.

The U.S. counterpart to Russian, Mikhail Kalashnakov, Eugene Stoner actually first invented the AR10 which was rejected by the U.S. military in favor of the M14 rifle. With the base design already down, the team at Armalite made some changes to the AR10 (the big one was changing the caliber from 7.62 X 51mm NATO to the 5.56 X 45mm NATO cartridge) and arrived at the final product of the AR15. This finalized design is what the U.S. military adopted as what most know as the M16 rifle. While at Armalite, Stoner also designed a survival rifle for the U.S. Air Force that was designated as the AR5 and was later upgraded to today’s AR7 Survival Rifle.

Stoner continued his work with firearms going on to work with well known firearm companies including Colt (who had purchased the rights to the AR15 from Armalite) and Knight’s Armament. He even co-founded the company ARES Incorporated where he had a few other successful firearm designs.

It is safe to say that while not only bringing us the AR15 platform of rifle, Eugene Stoner is an amazing contributor to the modern firearms industry, not only on the military side of things but the sporting side as well.

I gotta say, I have some small experience shooting subguns, and I’ve always much preferred the Thompson or the MP5 to the AR15. I broke the bolt on a Colt AR15 once during a competition, which ain’t exactly something that happens every day. But for an alternate take on Stoner’s genius design, you can always check out the Captain, who loves ’em, and knows whereof he speaks too. As for the Thompson, an excellent article on it is here, but it won’t let me cut and paste from it for some reason, so you’ll just have to click on through and read it all.

And I’ll just say it one more time, for posterity’s sake: come and take them, liberal-fascist fucktards.


9 thoughts on “Manhood

  1. As others have commented elsewhere, this douche almost certainly didn’t actually fire an AR. The. 223 AR has next to no recoil, and sounds like a small firecracker going off.

    More likely, he watched a couple of Schwarzenegger movies and wrote how he imagined it would feel to fire the Hollywood version of the AR.

  2. What a pajama boy! This guy is almost certainly as manly as one of Obama’s daughters. A AR-15 has slight recoil, my wife who is petite can handle it easily. It does not require as much hearing protection as a 12 gauge or 357. My guess is that this clown is trying to get into a ladies room somewhere.

  3. The only way you’re going to get 49 people in 60 seconds is if they’re grouped together and cowering down…oh wait, a bunch of them were. In the bathroom, TEXTING, right up to the end. Imagine that. I’m no hero but if I’m unarmed in the bathroom, I have a toilet tank lid or something in my hands, anything but a fucking phone.

  4. Recoil? Muzzle blast? From a 5.56? I had one when I was 12. I’ve taught women and children to shoot with the bloody thing.

    I suppose the silver lining is that if these are the bad guys, I almost look forward to civil war with them.

  5. That article was so over-the-top that it wasn’t believable. It had to be Grandmaster level trolling, designed to get a response he could write about in a subsequent article.

  6. @Mr. Lion

    For what it’s worth, the AR does have a fairly impressive muzzle flash, especially at night (at least, the M16 I fired in Basic Training did; looked just like the ones in the movies), but the sound is decidedly not earthshaking.

  7. @Sixgun

    To elaborate, for anyone who might not have fired the AR: when I was going through Basic Rifle Marksmanship, firing the M16 with the Army issue earplugs in, the twangy “TUNK” of the buffer action was louder to me than the sound of the round going off.

    I also want to point out that the author of that ridiculous column appears to be left-handed, since he talks about the spent brass flying past his face (a legitimate complaint for left-handed AR shooters). If he’s not left-handed, then it’s just one more indicator that the column is pure fiction intended to reinforce leftist beliefs about scary black guns.

  8. @Sixgun

    Blast, not flash. The concussion is pretty tame compared to, say, a 7.62 or 12 gauge– which are at best “normal” rounds.

    I’d love to see the mewlist above try, or even be in proximity to, something like a .500 S&W.

  9. Uh, did someone remove the buffer (recoil) spring and buffer assembly from his weapon before letting him fire it, as a joke? If not, I need to ask for the VA to review my disability status, since I fired many, many .223 rounds over twenty years in the USMC…guess I have been denying my very serious “temporary form of PTSD.”

    Oh, my, the kiddies nowadays are rather delicate, aren’t they?

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