Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Another problem solved

Leave it to Milo.

Last week I unveiled my plan to settle radical Islamic jihadists — or “Syrian refugees,” as the mainstream media likes to call them — in special facilities located in the heart of upper-class liberal enclaves, such as Rachel Maddow’s back yard.

This audacious, brilliant, inspired and humane plan, to be crowdfunded under the name Milo’s Home for Wayward Jihadis, was met warmly throughout the internet, with many pledging to back the project when it reaches the funding stage.

One of the kinks we had to work out is what our jihadis should do with themselves once settled. After all, cleaning and oiling a Kalashnikov takes a mere eleven minutes, and harassing the local populace to the point they are afraid to enter the neighborhood is a hobby, not a career choice. Likewise the rape of local schoolchildren and stealing from corner shops.

Where in the west could we possibly find an appropriate workplace for these otiose thugs? One which values oppressive fanaticism, does not tolerate speech outside of specific and carefully-groomed lines of thought and which relies on intimidation to prevent the spread of illicit ideas?

Well it’s a lot easier question than you think. We will plonk them down in the gender, racial equality, and diversity offices on university campuses.

Works for me. They all deserve each other, as far as I’m concerned. And as I’ve said before, such a move has the potential to solve all our problems at once, without any heavy lifting or much at all in the way of effort required on the part of sane people. Who says there are no simple solutions to seemingly complex problems?

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3 thoughts on “Another problem solved

  1. I only see one problem: the offspring of the inevitable hookups between ugly, fat, bitchy, entitled-but-needy, noble-savage-craving womyn’s studies majors and violent, aggressive, halfwit jihadists.

  2. I think it’s brilliant. Using one problem to solve another like that. What could possibly go wrong?

  3. I would prefer that they each instead be handcuffed to a cop in the community where they will be settled, and the key thrown away. Your fine friends in the Blue Wall will make sure they do not suffer at the hands of Mere Citizens, so why not make it easier for them?

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"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

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