Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Death panels? Don’t be ridiculous

And likewise, that liberal “death culture” is just a figment of your overactive, warped, paranoid imaginations, you WINGNUTZZ™.

This makes zero sense.

Last week, Jerry Brown signed assisted suicide into law in California.

This week, he vetoed a bill that would have allowed dying patients to access experimental drugs in an attempt to live.

We see the same death-over-life pattern in Oregon, which rations Medicaid so as to prevent some terminal cancer patients access to life-extending chemotherapy, but never rations assisted suicide.

Good grief: A “right to die,” but no “right to try and live.”

Not in Liberal-land, there ain’t. You have a right to be told what you may and may not do your whole life, and you have the right to die and quit soaking up the government’s money when they’re all done with using you as a good little worker drone and tax soak. And that’s about it for the Liberal Bill of Rights.

So yeah, no “death culture” at all, nothing to see here. Let’s all move along, and keep talking about “rape culture” instead, you guys.

Update! Liberal Bill of Rights? Yeah, I know, a fairly ridiculous idea when you consider that the original Bill of Rights was a codification of natural rights the government–a legitimate government, mind, as opposed to the one we have–may not transgress against in any way, and when liberals turn the whole concept on its head by insisting that all rights are granted by their benevolent and all-powerful government. So the idea of a Liberal Ten Commandments might work a bit better. Y’know, if it wasn’t for that whole icky Christer thing.

The best way for liberals to advance their various causes would be to take a pledge to live the rather progressive lives that they advocate. Here are a modest Ten Commandments to lend them credibility in the eyes of the American people.

1. Climate Change. Perhaps the greatest carbon emission sin is jet travel. On an average London-to-New York flight each passenger emits well over 1 ton of C02 emissions, an indulgence that can nullify a year of recycling of other less-privileged Americans. All supporters of government-mandated reductions in fossil-fuel emissions could at least take the following pledge. “I will fly across the Atlantic no more than once every five years.” Private jet travel — the worst of the mortal carbon sins — of course would be banned, at least until we can transition into solar and wind aviation. Al Gore in the middle seat of Row 44, fighting to put his oversized carry-on into the overhead compartment, would be a symbolic act worth far more than all his heated and well-paid rhetoric.

2. Schools. Most liberals oppose charter schools, support teachers’ unions, and encourage generous immigration, legal and illegal. To further diversity in the schools, create easier integration, and to nullify the insidiousness of white privilege, each liberal should pledge, “I will put at least one of my children in an inner-city public school, or in a school where the white enrollment is in a minority.” What better way to acculturate a young elite to the new world around him? Could not the Obama children attend a D.C. public school?

3. Guns. Gun control is an iconic liberal issue, specifically limitations on handguns and concealed weapons. Too many guns in too many places supposedly encourage violent crime. Again, what better way to make a statement than by having all liberal celebrities, business people, and politicians take the following pledge: “I will pledge that no one in my security detail will ever carry a concealed firearm of any sort”? Surely the pope, of all people, did not need armed guards, with lethal concealed weapons, surrounding his pope-mobile?

4. Illegal Immigration. Liberals support the idea of unlimited immigration, legal or not. But the key for successful upward mobility for newly arrived immigrants, attested in nearly all studies, is integration and acculturation with American citizens. Therefore the following pledge seems ideal for any supporter of open borders: “I will socialize weekly with at least one illegal immigrant, whether inviting him to a sporting event, dinner, or recreational activity.” Were one upscale family to adopt an immigrant family from south of the border, the latter’s health care, legal, education, economic, and culture challenges might be alleviated. There are plenty of empty and mostly unused guest houses behind estates in Malibu and Santa Monica, and very few shelters for new arrivals: why not combine need and idleness — and help the helpless?

5. Sanctuary Cities. Most liberals support sanctuary cities and the idea of open borders, including the right of cities to nullify federal law. Why not pledge,  “I will swear support for all American cities that choose to nullify any federal laws that they find oppressive and somehow contrary to the idea of America”? When a cattleman shoots a wolf, and a county sheriff guffaws and claims “that’s a federal problem, not mine,” then we will have come full circle to the sort of disasters that occur in San Francisco.

The only problem with this idea is that when it comes to forcing liberals to abandon the cherished contradictions and hypocrisies inherent in their worldview, you’ll never be able to limit yourself to just ten Commandments. But I do especially like number 3; if we could just force them to adopt that one, our larger Liberal Problem would probably solve itself in pretty short order.

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