General Mattis Crosses Potomac With 100,000 Troops; President, Senate Flee City
Just sorta gives you chills, doesn’t it? Of delight and anticipation, I mean, at the prospect of the shitweasels who have ruined the country taking to their heels in abject terror as the long-overdue reckoning approaches at last.
WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented turn in American history, retired Marine Gen. James Mattis, several years after being dismissed by the President and exiled to his estate in the countryside, marched on the national capitol early Tuesday morning with an army over one hundred thousand strong.
This number includes at least ten infantry legions, several aviation and artillery legions, and multiple cavalry cohorts.
“I come in peace, by myself, in order to hand-deliver a Memorandum of Concern to the Commander in Chief and the Senate,” said Mattis in a press conference. “I am moving on foot at a leisurely pace, with no ill will. If these American citizens choose to take a stroll with me, then who am I to turn down their companionship?”
The contents of the so-called memorandum are unknown, but are rumored by Mattis’ close advisors to contain paragraphs addressing unconstitutional acts by the administration and the Senate. Alarmed by the amassing of troops sympathetic to Mattis over the last week at Fort Myer, the Senate, the President, and various generals attempted to recall various combat divisions to Washington to defend the city.
These included the 101st Airborne, 82nd Airborne, 10th Mountain, and 3rd Infantry Divisions, in addition to the 2nd Marine Expeditionary Force.
“We even attempted to contact NAVSURFLANT and SUBLANT,” confided one Senate aide as he packed his Datsun to flee northward. “All we got was laughter and then static.”
Wonder how many civilians Mattis would have joining him along the way if he really did it that way–not a violent coup per se, but a peaceful march on Mordor on the Potomac to clear out the rats, roaches, and other neo-Marxist vermin, re-establishing Constitutional government at last?
It’s a satirical piece, of course, but Glenn says he finds it disturbing just the same. In better times, maybe, and assuming we were living under a government that still bore even a passing resemblance to the one established by the Founders. But myself, I just gotta admit: I find the sorry state Amerika has plunged itself into a lot more disturbing than I do the prospect of those in the military who’ve realized their service to His Majesty King Barrack the Just is in conflict with their oath to the Constitution finally deciding to take action reconciling it.