You know Romney wiped the floor pretty badly with the stupid sonofabitch when you’re getting the kind of wailing, excuse-making, corrupt manipulation, and balls-out lying from the Enemy Media we’re seeing today. But the real telltale is when the Onion jumps on your skinny neck with both boots:
DENVER—Following last night’s nationally televised presidential debate, President Barack Obama’s 11-year-old daughter Sasha reportedly asked her father why he was “acting like such a goddamned pussy up there.” “Daddy, how come you were being such a little bitch?” asked the sixth-grader, who told the president she was “genuinely worried” that maybe somebody had “cut Daddy’s balls off” right before he took the stage. “What happened, Dad? Were you on your period or something? Maybe the next time you’re in front of the entire country for an hour and a half you should try not letting another man spank you on the ass like that.” Sources added that Obama’s youngest daughter then offered to help the president go “look for [his] dick, because apparently it’s gone missing.”
Better bring a magnifying glass for that snipe hunt, kid. And tweezers.
Incidentally, that “Enemy Media” bit I swiped from here, via here; I like it, and since I’ve been casting about for a while now for something more accurately descriptive than the standard appellations for Obama’s house propaganda, umm…organs (hey, see what I did there?), I’m a-gonna keep it.
Truly pathetic update! Did somebody say “desperation“?
Some people suggest that Obama is luring Romney like the Russians lured Napoleon, getting him in too deep and out of his element. Maybe…
— Charles M. Blow (@CharlesMBlow) October 4, 2012
Sorry Charlie, but it’s your guy who’s out of his depth here. He pretty much has been since he left high school, in fact.