Amounting to “go piss up a rope.”
You know what I can’t stand to hear about anymore? That we Americans are addicted to oil. It’s a smarmy term that tries to couch an economic and environmental argument in pathological terms.
I’m not addicted to oil. I’m addicted to being able to drive into town on my own schedule. I’m addicted to being able to haul home a week’s worth of groceries with two little kids in tow without having to wait for the fucking bus with eighty pounds of filled plastic bags in my hands. (That’s disregarding the fact that I live out in the sticks, and the nearest bus stop is four miles away, which is one hell of a hike with the aforementioned two little kids and week’s worth of groceries.)
I don’t give a shit what kind of substance I have to put in the tank of the minivan to feed that particular addiction. I don’t care about oil. If my minivan ran on distilled cow piss, I’d fill up with distilled cow piss. If they ever come up with an electric minivan that goes the speed limit on the Interstate, accelerates to highway speeds in less time than a geologic epoch, and doesn’t need to be recharged every fifty miles with electricity that comes from a coal-powered plant anyway, I’ll gladly buy one of those and deep-six the old combustion engine.
Until then, shut the fuck up about my addiction to oil.
Bang, zoom, to the moon with every last one of ya. One thing I’ll never forgive Dubya for is his popularization of that inane turn of phrase. One of the most successful technical innovations in history, running on what would be a cheap and plentiful source of fuel if the envirotwits would stop demanding we worship at the altar of the false green-weenie religion and get the hell out of the way of real progress…and these idiots insist on describing it as an “addiction.”
Here’s what I’m “addicted” to myself: levels of productivity, prosperity, mobility, convenience, independence, and freedom which are unprecedented in all of human history, made possible by the remarkable success of the internal combustion engine. It has contributed more to those achievements than any army of Progressivist ninnies ever will. But then, they’re violently opposed to all those things in the first place, so no wonder they prefer stupid epithets like “addicted” to try to propagandize them out of existence.