Hey, anybody remember when TV and movie comedy was actually funny?
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. Youâ€™ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: Thatâ€™s whatâ€™s been keeping me awake.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. Charley, youâ€™ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, Iâ€™m too busy growing strawberries.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isnâ€™t neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Good stuff, all of it. And not a fart joke, a bong joke, a kick in the nuts, or a drunk teenager puking to be found.