Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Papers? Please.

An officer BLOWS his whistle several times.

There is pandemonium as native guards begin to round up
people.

A police car, full of officers, with SIREN BLARING, screams
through the street and stops in the market.

Some try to escape but are caught by the police and loaded
into a police wagon.

At a street corner TWO POLICEMEN stop a white CIVILIAN and
question him.

FIRST POLICEMAN
May we see your papers?

CIVILIAN
(nervously)
I don’t think I have them on me.

FIRST POLICEMAN
In that case, we’ll have to ask you
to come along.

The civilian pats his pockets.

CIVILIAN
Wait. It’s just possible that I…
Yes, here they are.

He brings out his papers. The second policeman examines them.

SECOND POLICEMAN
These papers expired three weeks
ago. You’ll have to come along.

Suddenly the civilian breaks away and starts to run wildly
down the street.

The policeman SHOUTS “Halt”, but the civilian keeps going.

JAN and ANNINA BRANDEL, a very young and attractive refugee
couple from Bulgaria, watch as the civilian passes. They’ve
been thrust by circumstances from a simple country life into
an unfamiliar and hectic world.

A shot RINGS out, and the man falls to the ground. Above
him, painted on the wall, is a large poster of Marshal Petain Hussein,
which reads: “Je tiens mes promesses, meme celles des autres.”
(“The Cambridge police acted stupidly, but you’ve made enough money.”)

–the intro to “Casablanca”. I quote from memory.

SNL’s Weekend Update:

“Every time someone says “Show me your papers!”, Hitler’s family gets a residual check.”

Really, Herr Seth Myers? Then what was Tax Day, April 15th, you jolly joker? We all had to “show our papers”. To get a driver’s license, you must have a birth certificate. To get a new birth certificate, you must have a driver’s license. And to get a Social Security card, you must have a society–a secure one.

Want a “free” mortgage? Show your papers. Rent a movie? Get a credit card? Go to college? Show your papers. Join the Army? Fly on a plane? Run for office? Show your papers.

Mark Steyn:

As I write, I have my papers on me – and not just because I’m in Arizona. I’m an immigrant, and it is a condition of my admission to this great land that I carry documentary proof of my residency status with me at all times and be prepared to produce it to law enforcement officials, whether on a business trip to Tucson or taking a 20-minute stroll in the woods back at my pad in New Hampshire.

Who would impose such an outrageous Nazi fascist discriminatory law?

Er, well, that would be Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Say, didn’t he fight the Nazis? Oh, nevermind; it’s just too confusing…

VDH:

On the unfortunate matter of “presenting papers”: I have done that numerous times this year — boarding airplanes, purchasing things on a credit card, checking into a hotel, showing a doorman an I.D. when locked out, going to the DMV, and, in one case, pulling off a rural road to use my cell phone in a way that alarmed a chance highway patrolman. An I.D. check to allay “reasonable suspicion” or “probable cause” is very American.

On the matter of racial profiling: No one wishes to harass citizens by race or gender, but, again unfortunately, we already profile constantly. When I had top classics students, I quite bluntly explained to graduating seniors that those who were Mexican American and African American had very good chances of entering Ivy League or other top graduate schools from Fresno, those who were women and Asians so-so chances, and those who were white males with CSUF BAs very little chance, despite straight A’s and top GRE scores. …I can also remember calling frantically to an Ivy League chair to explain that our top student that he had accepted had just confessed to me that in fact he was an illegal alien, and remember him “being delighted” at the news, as if it were an added bonus.

MM:

“Having traveled into Mexico last year to various cities on the Baja Peninsula, a distance of more than 1,000 miles round-trip, we were stopped more than 20 times at various checkpoints. At most of those stops, we were told to exit the vehicle and we were subjected to rigorous inspections.”

JT:

Situations where people must present proper papers

* When you wish to exercise your 2nd Amendment rights and keep and bear arms.

* When you wish to buy alcohol.

* When you wish to buy tobacco.

* When you want to buy a frigging decongestant.

Situations where demanding people present proper papers is absolutely unacceptable and RAAAAACIST!:

* Showing up to vote.

* Getting birth control while a minor and without parental consent or knowledge. …

Doc Zero:

If Arizona cannot expect its citizens to produce legitimate identification during traffic stops and other encounters with state authorities, the entire concept of “immigration” has been rendered meaningless… and this, in turn, largely erases the meaning of citizenship. Anyone who can physically occupy a few square feet of American soil becomes eligible to dine on the banquet of expensive services provided by our gigantic central government. This doesn’t just mean welfare. It includes all sorts of infrastructure, from roads to hospitals. We abandon even the pretense of citizens enjoying the benefits of public works they helped to build and maintain. …

There’s no reason to believe thousands of pages of regulations for health care, banking, and energy production will be enforced any more carefully and honestly than immigration laws are. On the contrary, the daily news is packed with plenty of expensive evidence this Administration is virtually incapable of honestly enforcing anything.

Democrats want to see enviromental impact paperwork every time you pass wind. For example, the HealthControl bill had this little “surprise”; you must now file papers every time you buy a stick of gum:

A few wording changes to the tax code’s section 6041 regarding 1099 reporting were slipped into the 2000-page health legislation. The changes will force millions of businesses to issue hundreds of millions, perhaps billions, of additional IRS Form 1099s every year. It appears to be a costly, anti-business nightmare.

InfoWars:

Section 163 of the [Health Care] bill now in Congress allows the government real-time access to a person’s bank records, including direct access to bank accounts for electronic fund transfers. “Even-though the bill mentions privacy aspects, the fact remains that if approved, Obama’s health care plan will allow government access at any time to your personal bank records,” KFYI News reports.

Big Government:

Subtitle G of the Dodd discussion draft bill requires that records be maintained and reported “for each branch, automated teller machine at which deposits are accepted, and other deposit taking service facility with respect to any financial institution, the financial institution shall maintain a record of the number and dollar amounts of deposit accounts of customers.”

What’s worse, banks will be required to submit these records to the new super regulatory agency called the Consumer Financial Protection Agency (page 1041). The CFPA will be allowed to use this information for any purpose “as permitted by law” under CFPA rules—rules set by CFPA themselves.

HA:

“…[T]he House version of the bill contains provisions that would put the Federal Trade Commission in position to start issuing rules on Internet transactions that would not only slow down business growth but also have no relevance at all to the financial collapse that prompted the bill…”

But don’t worry; they’ll guard your paperwork like it was top-secret ICBM technology. The only time Democrats don’t demand your papers is when you’re here illegally, voting or applying for welfare.

But you won’t have to show them your medical papers…because they will have already seized them for their Electronic Medical Record database. If you are a good patient, they might let you look at your own records.

They’re so paper-retentive, they had to pass a Paperwork Reduction Act–yet every year the mountain of papers keeps growing and growing. Every time a businessman says something Henry Waxman doesn’t like, he’s ordered to appear before Congress and bring all his file cabinets.

So if showing your papers is the mark of a Nazi regime, well, “Ich bin ein Arizonan.”

RICK
She came there for the letters of transit.
Isn’t that true, Ilsa?

ILSA
(facing Laszlo)
Yes.

RICK
(forcefully)
She tried everything to get them,
and nothing worked. She did her best
to convince me that she was still in
love with me, but that was all over
long ago. For your sake, she pretended
it wasn’t, and I let her pretend.

LASZLO
I understand.

RICK
Here it is.

Rick hands the letters to Laszlo.

LASZLO
Thanks. I appreciate it.

Laszlo extends his hand to Rick, who grasps it firmly.

LASZLO
And welcome back to the fight. This
time, I know our side will win.

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