Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01


White Sox fan my ass. He wouldn’t even know where home plate is, or what it is for that matter, if somebody didn’t point it out to him as the place he’s supposed to bounce those weenie-arm first pitches to.

Obama’s troubles started Monday after he threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Washington Nationals home opener.

He threw lefty and missed the plate, which wasn’t surprising. What was surprising is what happened after he joined announcer Rob Dibble in the booth for some happy talk.

Dibble commented on Obama’s hat — a nicely faded black Sox cap — which the president proudly wore on the mound reminding all of us once again of the heroic team from Chicago that has actually won a World Series in the past 100 years.

Dibble asked the fateful question, one so easy that Hawk Harrelson would have called it a “can of corn.”

Dibble: “Who was one of your favorite White Sox players growing up?”

Obama: “You know…uh…I thought that…you know…the truth is, that a lot of the Cubs I liked too.”

Ouch. The silence between the stammers was excruciating. America’s No. 1 Sox fan couldn’t name one Sox player.

That’s because he’s a fake, a phony, and a contemptible fraud. He’s masquerading as a baseball fan, an American, and a president — and is a sorry excuse for all of ’em. Dibble should’ve asked him to name a Cub, then, and waited while he stammered and jibber-jabbered his way out of that one.

The least he could have done was mention a current player, say grizzled veteran Paul Konerko or our spunky new leadoff man, the fleet-footed Slappy McPopup.

Slappy McPopup’s real name is Juan Pierre, an ex-Cub. Slappy earned his nickname with a signature swing so weak that it regularly results in harmless pop flies, negating Slappy’s one asset, his speed.

You wouldn’t expect Obama to name Slappy. But you would expect a Sox fan to know the name of the ballpark.

“When I moved to Chicago,” Obama babbled to Dibble, “I was living close to what was then Cominskey Park and went to a couple of games and just fell in love with it.”

Suuure you did, asshole. Hey, I’m interested in a bridge in Brooklyn, if you got one handy. Think you could maybe advance me some “stimulus” money to help close the sale?

Every word out of his rotten piehole is a goddamned lie. He is without a doubt the cheapest, shiftiest, greasiest politician I have seen or heard tell of in my entire life. And I’ve been alive a goodish little while now. He makes poor old sweaty-faced, shifty-eyed Richard Nixon look like a pillar of quiet, honest rectitude. And anybody who takes anything at all he says at face value by now is just begging for the screwing they’re about to get.


5 thoughts on “Busted…again

  1. Look, I am as loathe to give this guy the benefit of the doubt as any other reader here, but Obama is far from the only person in Chicago to refer to the Sox home field as “Cominsky.” Most of the people that get it wrong have lived here their whole lives and are confusing the stadium with the street actually named “Kaminski,” so he doesn’t get a lot of credit.

    Still. He couldn’t think of Carlton Fisk? Harold Baines? Hell, even Tom Seaver played for the Sox for a year or two at the end of his career. Just ridiculous.

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