Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Snow Jobs is No Jobs At All…Party!


Harry Reid:

“Today is a big day in America.”

Really? How big, Harry?

“Only 36,000 people lost their jobs today, which is really good.”

uhh–yeah–that’s, uh, really good. Now if only a coupla’ hundred politicians lost their jobs, too, that would be really great.

“The Unemployment Rate around America has not changed.”

More great news. I guess.

“Prognosticators thought it would go up and it has not.”

Harry has hit on the key here. For the last year, experts have been telling us every month that unemployment was “unexpectedly” worse. This month, they say it’s “unexpectedly” better. But either way, they’re admitting they were wrong. But they never lose their jobs.

Therefore, we need to give the 15 million unemployed Americans jobs as…experts!

After all, as an expert, even when you’re wrong, month after month after month, you can’t be fired. Problem solved!

In “reality”, they sent straight man Larry “The Melting Snowman” Summers out last week to lower expectations. Harry was then supposed to deliver the punchline today, but the guy can’t tell a joke.

Maybe all those doctors in lab coats at the White House could look at the president’s eyes. He was supposed to “focus like a laser” on jobs, but he hasn’t even found the eye chart yet–except for the one growth industry:

The federal government hired 7,000 new employees. Celebrate!


1 thought on “Snow Jobs is No Jobs At All…Party!

  1. Harry’s idea of good is like being on the Titanic:

    “We’ve launched all of the lifeboats and got all of those people off – losing all of that weight will help us sink slower. Right?”

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"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

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