Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Even Though Exhaling is Now Illegal, Apparently They’re Handing Out Nobel Prizes For It

GIVE A BOW, TAKE A BOW

Sir Prize has canceled lunch with the King of Norway to attend a Donna Summer concert.

That’s so when Donna sings “She Works Hard For the Money”, he can claim one job was saved or created.

In other Questionable Statistical News:

President Obama’s job approval rating has fallen to 47 percent in the latest Gallup poll, the lowest ever recorded for any president at this point in his term.

“If I was a heart patient and Gallup was my EKG, I’d visit my doctor,” Gibbs said in response to questions from Fox.

Unfortunately, elective EKGs for a man Gibbs age aren’t covered under the president’s FlatlineCare plan.

But if you take those flat EKG graphs and run them through East Anglia’s Climate Homogenizer(tm), they’ll be looking like a hockey stick in no time! All better now.

The Nobel Prize comes with $1.4 million award. Isn’t that, well, kinda chintzy? After all, speaking of Questionable Statistics, Hillary’s pollster was awarded $6 million:

RUSH: Do you remember, ladies and gentlemen, the rumored negotiations between Hillary and Obama at the end of the primary campaign? It was said then that Hillary would support Obama if he would pay off her debts. And we were told that her campaign debts ranged from five to ten million that she owed Mark Penn. Well, shazam, look at what’s happened, Obama has paid off Hillary’s debt to Mark Penn, which was something like $6 million, $5.7 I think is the exact amount, of stimulus money, money designed to create jobs in the private sector. Burson-Marsteller is a giant worldwide PR firm, they don’t need a bailout, they don’t need any stimulus money but it was said, “Yeah, it was to preserve three jobs there.”

“In the end, even if there are a few unwise projects, it is only a handful out of the over 50,000 projects that have been approved to date,” said Liz Oxhorn, a White House spokeswoman answering the question, “What the hell, $5 million, $6 million to Mark Penn?” “Well, in the end, even if there are a few unwise projects it’s just a handful.” So they had to be discrete, they had to wait awhile before they actually made the payoff. And of course Obama would use the taxpayer’s money rather than his own or even that of his campaigns. He’s entitled. He’s a savior. He’s saving the country.

Look at the news that we have had today. The TSA security manual totally compromised, blown up all over the Internet. Continuing lies about global warming from Algore. He’s getting the temperature of the earth’s core wrong by millions of degrees. He’s an idiot. He’s an absolute doofus. He says the polar ice caps are melting. We had Reuters yesterday with a story about polar bears eating their own because of global warming, when everybody who knows polar bears knows that polar bears eat their young, for a variety of reasons, and they’re not the only animals that do that. And now we got Harry Reid out there saying, “Oh, yeah, we’re really close to a deal. In fact, we finally have the deal done,” when he’s nowhere near close to a deal. We have Dianne Feinstein saying it is perfectly moral for the taxes of pro-life Americans to pay for insurance policies that will provide abortion. And Obama is using your money, our money, taxpayer money to pay off Hillary’s campaign debt.

I say if it’s “our” money, it’s “our” Nobel Prize, too. Congratulations, fellow Nobel laureates; you deserve this award for all that you do.

Whatever that is.

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1 thought on “Even Though Exhaling is Now Illegal, Apparently They’re Handing Out Nobel Prizes For It

  1. re: The Nobel’s $1.6m. I do believe this is un-Constitutional for the pResident to even accept this money. At least the fool gave it away.

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